Poltergeists of Polka Guys

The small, imperceptible happenings of life

2012-01-30T17:44:00.000-05:00

I had a very full, good weekend. I was able to see some friends on Sunday, which was wonderful. It's been awhile, and it was so good to see them. In anticipation of guests, I cleaned my apartment, rather thoroughly, actually. I am not a generally tidy person. I have a high tolerance for clutter, and I really don't like minimalism. However, I let it get out of hand sometimes, and then it's a daunting task to tackle. I did have help though, which made it more enjoyable. It is very nice to come home to a clean house. I'll need to get used to this. :-) I have rearranged the furniture a bit, which is nice, and I got a nice table to put the TV on, instead of the Rubbermaid upon which it was previously perched.

I am trying to read more. I am currently reading God is Red by Liao Yiwu. It's about Christians and Christianity in China. He interviews people who survived communism and Mao and the Cultural Revolution, and there are also interviews regarding people who did not survive. It's a good book. The perspective is interesting, as the author is not a Christian himself, but he is involved in human rights and has been imprisoned and his books censored for not being in line with the communist/socialist doctrines of the state.

January is a day away from being over, and February looks like it will speed by as well. I have a lot going on, but I like being busy. I just need to budget my time well. I read an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education that talked about how people work, and that everyone works differently. Some people are really good planners, and others need to take it right up to the deadline. I'm a deadline person myself. The author's take was, "whatever works best for you." If you're not a planner, then trying to force yourself to be, might not be the best thing to do, though trying different methods is not a bad idea.

I have pilates tonight, so I need to dinner.

Out with the old, in with the new

2012-01-18T19:24:00.000-05:00

I am currently sitting in my comfortable, new-to-me, green granny recliner with my kitty snug between myself and the arm of the chair, and it is wonderful. I am feeling somewhat exhausted. I really need to get onto a decent, normal people schedule, but I don't really want to. I like my way of doing things, even if it isn't the best way. But, I know that's a problem. I will probably eventually give in and have a normal schedule.

January has been going well so far. I had a lovely time with friends over New Years. One of my friends positively spoiled us by making a completely homemade feast of turkey, noodles, apple pie, etc. I made wassail, which was a hit. It's my favorite holiday tradition.

I also went to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. I'd never been to a 3D movie before. We thought it was going to be on the IMAX screen, but it wasn't. :-( It was, however, fully entertaining. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie, and though it wasn't made originally for 3D, they did a good job with it. The landscapes especially stood out. There was a scene with black tree branches and the end scene with roses that absolutely popped. Even if it hadn't been in 3D, it was still nice to see it on the big screen. I had gone when it first came out, but I didn't appreciate it as much then as I do now.

Also, I just found out that they changed the date of the Tough Mudder I signed up for. They moved it from March to June, which is a really good thing, both for safety and for my personal training. Cold water obstacles in Indiana in March is generally ill advised, so I'm glad for the warmer weather. I was worried about getting wet in cold temperatures. Also, I really don't think I would have been ready for the race in March, as I haven't been up to training yet. I need to focus on getting my energy up and eating better before I can really exert myself. But, now the Tough Mudder will be after the mini marathon in May, so that will be interesting. I think I'll just train harder for the mini, so I'll be in better shape to recover and run the Tough Mudder.

I have had a small epiphany. My friend pointed this out, and she is right. I basically always need to be busy. I need things to do, or I go a bit crazy. As I say, better to be busy than bored. :-)

TTFN

2011-12-26T14:14:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

It is so nice to have a real job with vacation and holiday time. I am so glad to be able to spend time with friends and family. One of perks of working in an academic library vs a public library.

This holiday has been fairly low key, but full of laughter. And, I suspect there is more laughter and stories to come with New Years.

My main plan is to sleep, eat, and catch up with people. Preparing for the holidays is always crazy, and this year has been no exception. Probably moreso. I did get out most of my Christmas cards, but really failed when it came to Christmas cookies. I need a better plan for those. I hope to pick up some Christmas cards, wrapping paper, and maybe decorations for next year, as they should be on sale now. I need to supplement my card supply. Also, I could not find any Christmas paper for my newsletter this year, so I had to settle for clouds. It seems that the Christmas newsletter has been deemed obsolete and/or pompous. At least, that's what the guy on the radio said. I do like the holidays, but I also appreciate the slowness of January, when things get back to normal.

Happy New Year.

A Sense of Place

2011-11-20T17:33:00.001-05:00

It is so nice to be in a place that is more or less permanent. I know that I am where I need to be for now, and it is a good feeling. It makes it so much easier to be in community with people. I have been thinking about how different this year is so far compared the the last year I was here, 3 years ago. I feel like I am making better connections with people in church, and I am starting to feel more established. I think it's also easier for people to invest in other people's lives when they know that they will be around for awhile, as opposed to moving away in a year or 2. Being in transition is no reason not to make friendships and invest in a community, but it's harder. I do, however, feel a decided lack of gumption this year, which I'm not quite sure why. I felt more motivated to try to be an "adult" and take care of myself, but I lack motivation in some areas.

In other news, I sang in church today for special music. I was helping my friend rehearse for special music last night, and she roped me into singing with her. We decided this at 10 PM last night, but it turned out rather well, I think. We sang How Great Is the Love, alternating verses (she sang the 1st and I sang the 2nd) and singing the chorus together. I harmonized with her (most, not all of the lines), and it meshed well, according to honest, outside sources. I had a good time, but I was nervous, as I have never sung in public like that before. Which is not to say that I have not sung in public, but singing while walking down the street or for my grandpa in the nursing home or in the lobby of my dorm does not necessarily count.

Thursday is Thanksgiving, and then the holidays are upon us! I have a lot that I want to accomplish this holiday season, and I really need to get started on some things. I think that procrastination is one of my besetting sins. It's been with me for a long time, and I really need to work on abolishing it.

My apartment smells like awful incense or stale cigarette smoke that someone attempted to mask. Bleagh.

2011-11-07T00:38:00.002-05:00

I want to move to Charleston, South Carolina. It is the perfect city. It is beautiful, fairly temperate, with a great historical district, and it doesn't feel like a city. I spent the last 3 days in Charleston at a library conference. The conference was excellent, and I enjoyed my time there. While in Charleston, I made a pact not to eat at any restaurant that I could find somewhere else, and I followed that well. :-) Charleston has excellent food. Eating well there reinforced the idea that I have not been eating well, and I need to take better care of myself in regards to nutrition. Which means I need to cook more. Which will also help the budget.

On e of my 3 flights, I sat next to librarians who attended the same conference. Flying makes me nervous, but it was ok. The first plane was smaller and seemed a bit rickety, but we made it. Flying out of Charleston, I sat next to a gentleman from South Africa. He was also at the same conference, and it was interesting to talk with him. The last flight was on a huge plane, the type you see in movies, and it had the individual screens with movies and TV in the seats, which was really cool. It helped calm my nerves and helped the flight go faster. I watched an episode of CHiPs (old 70s cop show) and most of an episode of Friends. :-)

The conference was very good, but busy, and I'm rather wiped out. And also a bit overwhelmed with everything I need to do now, personally and professionally.

This week will probably be rather busy and go by quickly. Time just speeds along anyway. It's unreal how fast everything has gone. I feel like I moved up here yesterday. Though I do feel much more established with my job, though still learning and figuring things out. I'm pretty sure I was one of, if not the newest librarian at the conference.

Good night.

Don't Stop Believin'

2011-10-28T19:36:00.000-04:00

Whew. It's been over a month since I last posted, and there is a lot to say, but not much time. I am going to a friend's house to hang out tonight. I need to freshen up, as I went on a run earlier. I have been going on runs with my friend's mini fox terrier. She is full of energy and fun to run with, and it gives me more incentive to actually get out and run. If I tell my friend I'm coming over to run with the dog, then I have committed myself.

I have discovered the delectableness that is Greek yogurt. Both Chobani and Oikos are very good. I don't really like yogurt, but Greek yogurt is different. It's thicker and not as sweet as regular yogurt. And, I like the fruit on the bottom.

I went to my friends' wedding in b-town last week. It was a good weekend, and I had a great time. It was so good to see friends in b-town again and celebrate my friends' wedding. I was able to get in a lot of visiting, including a visit to the public library and with my old neighbor. And, I danced and talked the night away (literally). Good times.

I should post more, but maybe later. I need to get back in the blogging mode, but we'll see.

TTFN

Theater is addicting

2011-09-25T16:00:00.002-04:00

Signs of a callous heart:

Lost 1st love for Jesus
Fail to love and tremble at God's Word
Content with where you are spritually
Discontented with your lot in life or where you are in life
Look to your own efforts to earn God's favor
Are bored with the things of God
Complaining
Do not accept God's rebuke
Too lazy, apathetic, or bored to hyper listen (listen attentively and actively)
No intention of obeying what God clearly tells you in His Word
Obedience is a bother rather than a joy

Needless to say, the sermon was convicting today. Very convicting.

The play is over, and it went very well. It was good, but I am glad that it's over. I really want to try out for Scrooge the musical, but I don't think it would be right or fair, given my schedule. Some of us from the cast went out after the show, and I had a blast. These ladies are a hoot. We are planning on getting together later, and I'm looking forward to it.

This is the first day of fair week. I hope I can go at least one day. I really enjoy fair food, and I like walking around and seeing the sights. Especially the animal barns. Jersey cows!

I also bought Big Bang Theory season 4, and it is hilarious. I wasn't big fan of season 3, but season 4 proved it's worth. The characters are growing and changing, and there are new characters, but I don't think it's a bad thing. They are still funny, and I think it is good to let the characters grow. Normal people grow and learn from each other and pick up different habits while still staying true to themselves. Also, I think Jim Parsons who plays Sheldon won an award (Emmy?) and he completely deserved it!

Love and blessings.

Zeal

2011-09-04T12:37:00.002-04:00

Today's sermon was on zeal, and it was different from all the other sermons on that subject I have heard in the past, and it was refreshing. The pastor emphasized that our righteousness must be placed in Christ. That we cannot earn our salvation, that what we do must come from resting in Christ, being in Christ, and that we should want to do things because we love Him, not because we want to be a good person, or even because we want to be a good Christian. Our zeal must be rooted in knowledge and in the truth. It was refreshing to hear that, because zeal can so often be misplaced and dogmatic. But true zeal is really just an intense love for Christ and resting in Him. And, I will say that this is the first time I ever heard the Darwin Awards used as a sermon illustration. Rather gruesome, actually.

I am blogging more infrequently, due in part to the fact that of those of us who started blogs after college, only 2 of us are left blogging. I have begun posting more on facebook, but I am careful when I do that, as I have so many different "friends" that I only post things that I don't care that the whole world knows about.

I was going to go to Cedar Point yesterday, but I came down with a cold, and did not feel up to it. So, my friend and I went to the paint your own pottery place in town. I painted a coffee mug and saucer. It is light blue and chocolate brown with vine and flower accents. I am not very artistic, but it was a lot of fun, and it was good to get out and do something yesterday.

I found a show on Netflix that is a British comedy from the early 1990s called Waiting for God, and it is about 2 friends in a retirement home. It is very comical, and though I almost want to be like Diana when I am old, (she has a withering wit and a caustic tongue and is hilarious), I will more likely be like Harvey, who is a dear, sweet, daft old chap who is Diana's partner in crime. They are a hoot!

The students are back and classes have started. Work is rather busy right now, and I had my first reference desk shift. I wasn't able to answer all the questions, but I did get a high five from a student that I helped, and it made my night. :-)

We have the weekend off from play rehearsals, but after Labor Day we will be rehearsing every night, and probably long rehearsals, as we will have less than 2 weeks before the show. At least all my lines are good. :-)

Blessings

Warrior Dash

2011-08-14T22:47:00.004-04:00

I got back from a good weekend in B-town. Had a blast at the Warrior Dash. So much fun, especially running it with friends. I believe that I am going to do a Tough Mudder, most likely in March with the same friends. I will, however, have to train for this one. I was rather unprepared for this one, but not too bad. It was basically a trail run with obstacles. Not that I've done a trail run before, but they are fun, and I'd like to. All I need to do now is find a running buddy. I am a bit limited in my running, as I am cautious and try to stay in relatively safe places with a good amount of people around. Thus, no country runs or runs after dark. :-( Anyway, it was good to see friends in B-town again, and I am excited to try the sweet corn from a friend's farm.

Things are busy with play practice and starting to gear up for the beginning of the semester. I have a lot of irons in the fire, but I like being busy. It is preferable to being bored.

I feel like I should have more to post, but I am getting tired.

TTFN

Spiritual Marathoners

2011-07-31T14:18:00.003-04:00

The 2 pastors are in Guatemala on a missions trip, so the pastor's son preached today. He is most definitely part of the family. He was a bit (read a lot) crazy and a lot like his dad. :-) Which isn't a bad thing, as the sermons at my church are wonderful. He preached on the last 8 verses of Romans 8, which are wonderful verses, btw. And he used a good running analogy. It's not really a new one, but it struck me today, especially as I am trying to get back in shape for a race in 2 weeks and have recently run a 1/2 marathon. But, the spiritual life is like training for a marathon. It is hard, and not really fun, but it is necessary and definitely worth it, because if you don't train, then you will not be prepared for the race. I like thinking of myself as a spiritual marathoner. Also, Sunday school was very good and convicting, not in a "strike you down" sense, but a subtle conviction. We talked about inadequacy, and I realized that there are things that I need to give to God and allow Him to work. I generally just deal with things on my own, and that is not good.

I hung out with a friend yesterday and we went shopping. I blew through my furnishing and clothing budget, but I got some good things, including a nice "pub" table with 2 stools. The table has a white tile top, and it is counter height, which is something I really need, as I have virtually no counter space. If I'm going to cook, I need more counter space, and the table is perfect. The furniture store guy I bought it from was really weird and somewhat inappropriate/creepy, but he seemed harmless.

I also finally got a bigger harness for my cat. If she'll let me get it on right, I might try to take her out this evening. If she knew that the harness meant going out, I think she'd cooperate a bit more. She's been a bit ornery lately, and I think she might be a little bored.

I got a part in 12 Angry Jurors. I am juror #6. It is the hardest part in the play, as the character has very few lines and little to no personality. I think I am going to crochet granny squares to keep me in the play and involved. It will be a challenge, but I am looking forward to it.

My weeks are getting busier, what with play rehearsals and the approach of school. I will really need to get my act together and prepare for everything that's going on with work during August. It will be a busy month. I did finish all of the July to dos, which I'm very glad about. Now, onto August!

Of Coppers and Tractors

2011-07-19T22:17:00.002-04:00

I am watching Law and Order UK. I like Law and Order, at least the earlier episodes. I watched a lot of it with my family in high school. It's more procedural, as it focuses on the process of prosecution, so it's not as intense as some of the other shows out there. The UK version is very similar to the US version, but it is culturally different. It's hard for me to accept their use of CCTV, which, from what I gather, is a network of cameras everywhere. Makes it good for catching criminals and tracking people, but it's so Big Brother. I'm not ok with it. It's also weird to get used to the opening lines which substitute "district attorneys" with "crown prosecutors." And I'm not quite sure why they wear those ugly wigs, though I kind of like the robes. Gives it a different feel.

I am auditioning for 12 Angry Jurors tomorrow. My monologue is basically there. I need to practice a bit tonight. I just hope I don't stumble over any lines, as I think I have the emotion down. I hope I get a part, but if I don't, then I will find something else to fill my time.

It is very warm around here. I'm grateful for my air conditioner, but it's basically only good for the bedroom. And, sitting with a warm laptop isn't helping things.

I am adjusting to my job, but I still have a lot to learn. I ask lots of questions. I answered my first reference question over chat today. I'd never used chat reference before, and it was kind of nerve wracking, but I was able to find the answer.

I went to the Henry Ford Museum with a friend. It was a lot of fun. My favorite part was the farm implements. :-) There is this ridiculously awesome tractor that is basically a train engine tractor. Steam powered and HUGE! Was definitely my favorite piece. There was some cool furniture too, which I enjoyed looking at. I haven't been to a museum in a long time, and it was fun.

I should get to bed a bit early, as I was exhausted today.

TTFN

Updates

2011-07-03T16:23:00.002-04:00

Thank goodness for Netflix. I signed up a couple days ago, and then got sick. Blargh. I don't have cable, so it helps pass the time. I have been watching movies and Dr. Who. I just finished season 1, and I am looking forward to season 2, especially as I've been told that David Tennant is awesome as the Doctor. We'll see. I became rather partial to the first Doctor (Christopher Eccleston).

There is a church wide potluck tonight and then watching fireworks. I might try to make it out, but I'm not sure I'll last for the fireworks. I don't like feeling like a blob and having low energy. I want to go out walking and running, but my body says no, though I was able to make the short walk to and from church.

I am now officially a librarian, as the former librarian retired on Thursday. It's a bit stressful, and I am going to need to go in on Tuesday and do some work. We get Monday and Tuesday off for the holiday, which is great, but it also means that we have to work on Labor Day. Any way, since I am still learning the ropes, it takes me a lot longer to do things, and I need to catch up and prepare for some things for Wednesday.

TTFN

Freedom

2011-07-02T00:23:00.003-04:00

How does one struggle against one's sinful nature but also experience Christian freedom?

I will never be good enough. No matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for God. I "knew" this growing up, but I realized that I didn't really understand or believe it. In the past year or 2, I have finally come to an understanding of what this means. And it is freeing. To throw yourself a the mercy of Christ and ask Him to cover everything is a relief. A release from fear. But, we are called to hate our sin and to struggle against our sinful natures. How do we do this without an accompanying guilt and fear? Are these not the motivating factors to strive against our nature? If not these, then what should be our motivation? Love for God should be our motivation, but this is sometimes forgotten or cast aside. It is easier, once the fear and shame and guilt is gone, to do whatever one desires, to use freedom in Christ as an excuse to do what I want.

It is not hard to understand legalism. It's man's way of figuring out faith. We are finite with minimal understanding and finite minds. Legalism helps us make sense, put God and faith in a big religious box. A list of dos and don'ts. But it's not that easy. God doesn't play by our rules. He cannot be contained, and for us to put limits on Him is demeaning and implies that we know better than Him. That we know exactly how this world is supposed to work and how everything is going to be revealed. But we don't. And while there are some things that are clearly noted and spelled out for us in God's word, we must be careful about the other things. Allow for grace. Allow for faith.

I am reading "On Christian Liberty" by Martin Luther. I bought it for one of my classes in college, but we never read it. I kept it though, and it is, so far, a good read. He makes a really interesting point using the metaphor of Christ as the bridegroom and us as the bride of Christ. Luther says,
"Christ is full of grace, life, and salvation. The soul is full of sins, death, and damnation. Now let faith come between them and sins, death, and damnation will be Christ's, while grace, life, and salvation will be the soul's; for if Christ is a bridegroom, he must take upon himself the things which are his bride's and bestow upon her the things that are his." (pg 19)

Luther also says 2 pages later, "Here this rich and divine bridegroom Christ marries this poor, wicked harlot, redeems her from all her evil, and adorns her with all his goodness. Her sins cannot now destroy her, since they are laid upon Christ and swallowed up by him. And she has that righteousness in Christ, her husband, of which she may boast as of her own and which she can confidently display alongside her sins in the face of death and hell and say, 'If I have sinned, yet my Christ, in whom I believe, has not sinned, and all his is mine and all mine is his.'" (pg 21)

I know that the Church is the bride of Christ, but I had never thought of it in the way that Luther phrases it. But if we are the bride of Christ, then we are one with Him, and our sin and shame is put upon and taken away by Him, and His goodness and righteousness is given to us. It is a wonderful, unfair exchange that I do not really understand, but I am grateful.

I Grow Old, I Grow Old, I Shall Wear the Bottoms of My Trousers Rolled

2011-06-20T21:48:00.002-04:00

I don't know if I'll ever get used to a "real person" schedule. I am so tired in the evenings that I take naps around 7 or later, which is a bad idea. Because then I stay up later and perpetuate the cycle. Also, kitty making noise in the mornings doesn't help either, though my sleep schedule is by no means her fault.

Wren's conjunctivitis has cleared up, which is good. Things are settling down and speeding up. Not a whole lot to report. I'm starting to have things to do, which is nice. :-)

I spent a wonderful birthday with a very close friend in the area. We went shopping, ate good food, and had good conversation, and that's all I wanted. The best part was just spending time with her. And, I will say that it is so much more fun to go shopping with someone else. When I shop by myself, I often shop like a guy: go, find what I need, leave. Having someone else to give input and laugh at the hideous styles you find in the store is so much more fun. We found some pretty awesome/ridiculous shoes. I wore a pair of 5 inch army surplus heels. The tops of the shoes were army surplus canvas and they laced up, like peek-toe boots or something. Army surplus meets fashion. They were the most impractical awesome shoes. I probably would have bought them if they weren't so tall and the fabric didn't rub wrong. :-)

It's crazy how much of our lives is online. This never really bothered me that much before, and I don't know why I am just now thinking of this, but there is so much online. I'm not going to get all conspiracy theory-y, but if someone wanted to know about someone, and they find the right info sources, they can find out a lot.

I also wonder if part of the online thing is we all have an inherent desire to feel/be important. To be noticed or noted, and the online forum is perfect for that. Have a blog. Post status updates for all your friends on facebook/Twitter (which, btw, I have no plans of caving and tweeting). But, it's also a good way to keep up with people, especially people you are friends with, but not necessarily close with. Though we may like to think otherwise, we are only able to have a finite number of close friends, and there is a definite hierarchy and levels of contact between ones friends and acquaintances. This is nothing that hasn't been said before, but just some stuff I've been thinking about.

TTFN

Happenings and Non-Events

2011-06-12T22:49:00.004-04:00

Kitty has conjunctivitis, so I have the enviable task of trying to put gel in her eye 2 times a day. She is actually being very good about it. Surprisingly, she sticks around to let me try again after each failed attempt, and she doesn't scratch me, though I'm not sure if that is because the vet clipped her nails or because she's keeping them in.

I went to see The King and I at the community theater. It was a good production. Some parts were cast better than others. The guy playing the king was wonderful. At times he reminded me of Yul Brenner, who played the part in the movie. Anna, the main character, was ok. She was best during the songs. It was a rather elaborate production, and they did a good job with it. It was a good way to spend the afternoon.

I've been watching a lot of movies recently, as I got my TV hooked up, but don't have cable. The library has a good selection, and I (finally) watched The Princess and the Frog. Friday night was 80s movie night with Ghostbusters and Crocodile Dundee. I did not remember the Stay Puff marshmallow man part of Ghostbusters. It is hilarious! I also watched a French Canadian movie called Seducing Dr. Lewis. The movie isn't what it sounds like. It's about a small town trying to get a factory built in their area so there will be jobs and they can get off welfare. But, to do that, they have to have a Dr. in town. It's a very good movie, and I really like the characters. Everyone looks "normal." No one is movie star good looking, and the characters are funny and real and they mean well and try hard. Yvon was my favorite, as he is this funny old codger.

My battery is almost out of juice.

Good night.

If Only I Had an Enemy Bigger Than My Apathy I Would Have Won

2011-06-06T23:14:00.004-04:00

(title quote from a song by Mumford and Sons)

I am now realizing the need to be proactive. I'm readjusting to a small town and a smaller church, and though I like the small town feel and atmosphere, it is a bit harder to find things to do in regards to volunteering and other activities, especially ways in which to meet other people, preferably people around my age and walk of life. Community theater will be a welcome activity, but it doesn't start until July, and that's if I make it past the audition.

In church yesterday, I realized that it is so easy to make everything about me. But it is not about me. I can wallow in loneliness and self pity, or I can do something about it. Focus on other people. I don't think it's a good idea to join things or do things for the sake of doing, but I really need something to take me out of myself, as it were. Help provide a different perspective. So, we'll see where God leads and what the summer holds.

Life So Far

2011-06-05T18:55:00.002-04:00

My kitty has her days and nights mixed up. I am trying to keep her up right now, as I do not want a repeat of last night. I did not get much sleep, as she is loud and decided that I needed to be up at 5 AM. I do not need to be up at 5 AM, and I do not appreciate meowing and crashing about at that time of morning. I understand, though, as she is home alone all day and doesn't have much to do except sleep. I'm going to try to leash train her, so we can go on walks. That way she can get out of the apartment and have a change of scenery.

Tomorrow is my 1st full week of work. The first three days have been full and rather overwhelming. I have so much to learn. This month is going to be a month of cramming before the current serials librarian leaves. There are so many things to keep track of. All the databases and the journals and the journals included in the databases. Plus vendors and the consortium, etc. It's a lot. I think I'll pick up on it, but it's a steep learning curve, as I knew it would be.

Summer is kind of a down time, and I'm hoping for some opportunities to serve and get involved in the community. I'm feeling a bit isolated right now. I miss being around people my own age and in the same walk of life. I feel like everyone at church is in a different part of life right now, which isn't a bad thing, but it would be nice to be around other young professionals/singles. I really do like the intergenerational feel of church though. It's nice to be around people who are older and younger than I, as I can learn from them and hopefully contribute to the conversation as well.

Meet Wren

2011-05-27T17:49:00.003-04:00

I am currently writing this with a kitty on my lap. Trying to teach her not to walk on the computer and chew the cords is a challenge, but she's settled down right now. She is a domestic long hair cat, gray, and orange, about a year old, and very affectionate. She is starting to get the hang of being a lap kitty, but she also has a lot of energy. I now know the need for cat toys, though I can't find her ball, which is sad. I had a stress ball in the shape of a basketball that she had a lot of fun with, but I can't find it now. I'll have to find something else at the pet store. She also decided that 5 AM is a perfectly acceptable time to be up and about. I did not agree, but was unable to fall back asleep until 6:30 or so. Hopefully we do not have a repeat tomorrow. She is a talker, and it's hard to sleep through her meowing. My own personal alarm clock. She is a sweetheart though. Having never had a cat before, I know it will be an adjustment and I need to give us both time to get used to each other. She seems to be adapting rather well, and thankfully was able to find the litter box. :-)

We both took naps this afternoon, and I am still a bit groggy. It's probably a bad habit, but I'm taking advantage of the situation while I can. :-)

I'm going to a Renaissance fair tomorrow with a friend. I've never been to one, and I'm excited, though I'm mostly looking forward to seeing my friend again. It's been a long time.

Blessings.

Bay Windows and Rocking Chairs

2011-05-24T10:42:00.003-04:00

I am here in Michigan and moved into my apartment, though I am still unpacking. I changed my driver's license today, so I am officially a Michigan resident. I also registered to vote, which will be kind of weird and means that I actually have to pay attention to Michigan politics and decide who to vote for on my own. Politics and politicians kind of annoy me, but I guess it's good to be informed.

I really like my apartment, as it feels so homey and it's very cute. I love sitting in my rocking chair next to the bay window. I found out, however, that the house that I am living in has a rather poor reputation in town. It has been pretty shady/seedy in the past, but the landlady seems to really be trying to change the reputation and make it a nice, safe place to live. Though it is different than it has been in the past, whenever I tell people where I live, I get worried looks, so I have to do some explaining. :-) Everyone in the house pretty much keeps to themselves, which is all I ask for.

I have a gas stove, and the gas guy came out today. I've been told that I will end up liking gas better than electric, but right now, it makes me nervous. Baking is going to be a bit tricky, as there are no measurements on the dial for the stove. The gas guy suggested getting an oven thermometer and then marking the dial for the different temperatures. That will be a bit of a hassle, but I think that's what I'll have to do.

It's gorgeous today. We've had some rain and thunderstorms, but beautiful weather in between. Because it's north, my current location is behind b-town in regards to plants and such, so I've had lilacs in my house, and they smell wonderful! Nature's perfume.

Not much to report. Things are going well, and I just need to keep plugging away at unpacking everything. I am going to have to go to the laundromat today. :-/ Not really looking forward to that.

My books are unpacked! Except for my comic books and cookbooks, I have enough shelf space. I would like a small shelf in the kitchen for my cookbooks, and I also would like a separate bookcase for my comic books (Peanuts, BC, Dennis the Menace, etc.). But, those can wait. I am hoping to go garage saling and maybe auctioning this summer. Extra kitchen storage and counter/table space is the most immediate need right now, as I essentially have no counter space in my kitchen.

Life is life right now. Not much exciting, just trying to get unpacked and adjust to life in the dale.

Blessings!

2011-05-16T11:28:00.002-04:00

Dash it all Tibbs, dash it all. (101 Dalmations) I had a post going, and then I somehow deleted it, and because of the settings on the computer, it didn't save any of it. Sigh.

I'm going to go on a short run after this. It will be the first run since the 1/2. I want to keep running, but I think I'll stick to shorter distances for awhile, 2-5 miles.

The move date is getting ever closer. I have a lot to do this week, but I don't mind. I'm fitting packing around my social calendar. Hanging out with friends is bittersweet now, but I wouldn't miss it for anything. I'm going to miss my church friends and the 20 somethings group. I wish that I could still be a part of it, but I have to move on.

I watched 12 Angry Men last night. I'm not a big fan of it, as it's kind of bleeding heart and I think the kid was guilty, but it's a classic and a good movie. The characters are really good. And, they're doing it for community theater in September, which I'm considering auditioning for. I probably shouldn't plan this far ahead, but it gives me something to look forward to and prepare for. I've chosen a monologue already, and I'm going to start memorizing it. It's an angry monologue, which is hopefully appropriate for a play that has the word angry in the title. :-)

Peace and blessings.

Run Johnny Run

2011-05-09T13:13:00.003-04:00

I finished my first half marathon this past Saturday. I am sore now, but it was worth it. :-) Saturday was a wonderful day. My parents got up at a ridiculous hour of the morning and met us in Indy at 6:30 AM. We then hung out a bit, showed them where we would meet up at the end, and walked to our corrals. I started pretty far back, in corral T (it went through Z). Click here to see a map of the startline. Having never done this before, I didn't know what to expect or what to estimate my finish time as. I had originally had a goal of finishing before 2 hours and 30 minutes, but I had abandoned that in favor of just finishing. I hadn't trained as well as I would have liked, and I wasn't sure how my body would react to that much running. I actually had a really good race, and finished in 2 hours and 23 minutes, which means that if I run another 1/2 marathon, I can get "seding" or a closer starting spot, like corral E, which would be nice, as I had to dodge a lot of people during the race. Many people walk the whole way or jog slowly and walk, and with 35,000 people, it could get bottle necked and tight at times. It was a really good experience, though. I was able to run almost all the way, walking only through the water stations and only 2-3 times for short periods of time during the race. Click here if you want to see the race route. There were different bands and groups playing music all along the race route, which was a lot of fun, especially as I didn't run with my iPod. I wanted to be aware of my surroundings, especially as I had to dodge and weave through people. There were cloggers, a polka band, DJs, rock bands, Caribbean music, country, etc. There were also people sitting and standing outside cheering for us, waving clappers and ringing cowbells. I especially like high fiving the little kids. It was like a parade without the candy. :-) By mile 11 and 12, it was becoming more of a struggle, and mile 12 was especially hard, but I kept going, and it was so nice to have my friends and family cheering at the end. It really helped me give that last push at the end. I have signed up for a Warrior Dash in August, and I am planning on signing up for the Indy mini again next year. I never thought I was a runner, but maybe I am.

Also, I have just started a book called "Manning Up" by Kay S. Hymowitz, and it's about the current trend of what she calls "preadults," or people in their 20s. I just finished the intro, and it sounds like it's going to be a good book. It's about understanding what our culture is now, and how things have and are changing in regards to the workplace, relationships, and gender roles. I really like this quote. "Today, however, with women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role--fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity--are obsolete and even a little embarrassing" (pg 16). I think this is true. Women are starting to dominate the workplace and other things, and guys are trying to figure out where they fit, and they are not necessarily living up to their potential. Hymowitz further states, "Single men have never been civilization's most responsible actors" (pg 16). Also true. Marriage and family tend to civilize guys. I am not sure what the answer is to all of this, as I do not think that women should not pursue education and better jobs (especially as I just finished my Master's degree). But, this is relatively uncharted territory, as education is becoming more important and emphasized, and it takes time. So, people are starting careers later and getting married later. Again, very different from in the past, but not necessarily wrong. I am looking forward to getting into the book and seeing what the author has to say, as I feel like it really pertains to me, as a young 20 something just starting her career.

Anywho, just wanted to share about the race and about my latest read.

Blessings

Room With a View (of the post office)

2011-04-27T17:25:00.004-04:00

I have a place to live! I talked to my new landlady today, and I got the apartment I wanted. It's a small one bedroom apartment in a big old house downtown. It's on the 2nd floor, with a big bay window in the living room, and cool tiling on the wall in the kitchen. There is almost no counter space, no dishwasher, no washer and dryer (laundromat here I come), and no air conditioning, but I love it! The landlady seems really nice and careful about who she rents to, which is encouraging. It's also within walking distance of work and near the bike/running path. Walking distance is really good, as gas is getting really expensive, and it will help me stay active, despite having a desk job. I'm a bit worried about the no air conditioning, but the current tenant says that there's a good cross breeze, which is good, and I can get fans too. One less thing to worry about! God is good!

God Loves Broken People

2011-04-26T21:22:00.003-04:00

That seems crazy. And I don't know why He loves us, but He does. I think that God cares not about our issues but how we are seeking Him through our issues. How we react to Him within our issues. Whatever they are. Whether it be mental illness or heartache or loneliness or addiction or pride or whatever. How in tune with Him are we? How much do we want to serve and know Him? That's all that matters. God loves broken people.

EDIT: (Reflections from an interaction in a coffee shop.)

Transitioning

2011-04-19T21:56:00.002-04:00

I have a few minutes to kill before I head out for the bus. I came on campus to be productive, but that did not happen. I have a meeting with a professor about a paper tomorrow, and then a lunch date with a girl friend. Then class, then home. I am almost done, and it is very difficult to focus on school type things. I'm very over it right now. I really dislike transitions, and I am caught in one right now. I am trying to find a place to live right now, and I'm hoping that this next trip yields something possible, as it will be difficult to go up a third time. I have some better leads this time, I think, though 1 is completely out of my price range. I can't wait until classes are over and my work is done. Then I can focus on moving to the dale. I'm going to miss my friends here, and it's hard to transition from the people here to thinking about connecting and reconnecting with people up there. It will take time. It's been 2 years. Things change. People change. I've changed. But it will be ok. I really feel like God is directing me back there, so it will all work out. We'll see what's ahead.

We're dealing with two devils who both want to rule hell.

2011-04-10T15:17:00.004-04:00

Title quote from Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys (about Hitler and Stalin)

I am taking a "materials for youth" class, which is about literature and materials for children and young adults, and the most recent project we finished was on nonfiction sources for children/students. I read books and online sites about resistance during WWII, which is a topic I know something about and find interesting. This time around, however, I was struck by how much WWII was also very much a fight between the communists and the fascists. Most of the resistance organizations were politically or ideologically driven, and many of them were communist or socialist organizations. It is slightly disconcerting, especially as I know a bit about how bad the communists and Stalin were. People in the east especially were caught between two evils: Hitler or Stalin. There was no good choice. Most people, however, do not realize how big a player the Soviets and communists were in the war. We allied ourselves with them, and it can be hard to admit that one of our allies was, I believe, worse than Hitler. Also, most people don't know about the Great Purge or of Stalin's atrocities. He was responsible for millions more deaths than Hitler. With all the atrocities and genocide that has happened and is still happening, it is sad that most people only know about Hitler. Hitler is the ultimate bad guy, and the other bad guys get a pass. What about Stalin or Pol Pot or what's happening in the Sudan or Libya or Burma? Maybe it's because we can only handle so much bad stuff at once. We are not God. We can't handle it all. Frankly, I'm not sure how God stands it. He sees everything. All the good, but also all the bad.

Just some thoughts.

I have to finish a big paper this week. I'd really appreciate prayers, as I'm really struggling with getting going on it.

Apartment Hunting

2011-04-04T22:39:00.002-04:00

I just got back from the dale. Dad and I went up to look for apartments, and though I found one maybe, I'm still going to keep looking. Sigh. I was really hoping to find something when I went up today. I don't really have time to go back up. Oh well, it will all work out, but I would appreciate prayers.

I have a lot to accomplish this week/month. I really need to kick into gear. Final push and then I'm done! Cannot wait!

The reality of going back to the dale is setting in. I am going to miss B-town, even though I didn't think I would. I'm going to miss my friends and the ethnic restaurants and the public library. I am looking forward to being a part of HFMC again, my new job, and finally being able to invest in the community. It's just weird that I will finally have a "real" job and be established and settled. Even though I know the community and people there, it will still be hard to adjust back. It will be good, but it will be hard. I'm going to try to have a plan to survive the winter and beat the blues. :-)

Life

2011-03-24T14:58:00.003-04:00

I had a wonderful time with library school friends last night. We went out for pizza and then saw Tangled. Tangled was cute, and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Pizza was the best part though. Laughter is good for the soul.

I have a lot to accomplish today. I am going on a run, and then I need to do my labels for my exhibit, as I am installing it on Monday. I'll be glad to have that done with and be able to focus on other things.

I am trying to find an apartment in the dale, which is a bit stressful. I am hoping to go up next week and look at places, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to go due to work, as the Monday night crew is sparse.

Going to run. TTFN

A Weekend of Good Movies

2011-03-13T23:56:00.003-04:00

It is the first weekend of spring break, and I have been taking it easy. I really need to buckle down during the week and figure out my exhibit, which I'm still feeling horribly lost on, but it will get done. I have watched three movies this weekend, and they have all been very good. The Picture Bride, Inn of the Sixth Happiness, and The Chorus (Le Choriste). I never seen The Picture Bride before, and it is excellent. It is a slower paced, beautiful portrait of picture brides or mail order prides in the early part of the 20th century in Hawaii. From about 1907-1924, thousands of Japanese women went to Hawaii to marry men they had only seen in pictures and corresponded briefly with through letters. The main character goes to Hawaii to marry and to escape the stigma of her past. The movie comes across very real. It has essential elements, but it allows the plot to form naturally, without forcing the characters. The young woman slowly becomes used to her environment and develops into a strong woman. I highly recommend the movie. It is slower paced, but beautiful, though there is some sensuality.

I watched the Inn of the Sixth Happiness today, which is about Gladys Aylward. It is a very good movie as well, and the scenes of the children crossing the mountains are very moving. I love the character of Ms. Aylward. She was strong and determined and loved God. I would like to know more about her, apart from the movie adaptation. I'd like to read a bio of her when I have the time.

Lastly, I watched my favorite foreign film, The Chorus. It is a French movie set in 1949 about a man who becomes a prefect at a boys reform school. He reaches the boys through music, and it is a wonderful, poignant story. The boys are endearing, and the characters are great. Though there is slight bawdy humor, it is very clean, especially for a French movie.

In an unrelated note, we went on a long hike/trek today. I think we walked about 6 miles out at a state park. It was a lovely day, but chilly, and I didn't prepare as well for it as I should have. Ah well, it was good exercise. I really need to be training in earnest, as the mini marathon is less than 2 months away.

Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday

2011-03-08T23:41:00.005-05:00

I bought paczkis today. They are my favorite part of Mardi Gras. I took a long time to decide which ones I wanted, and as I was leaving the display, two people came up, and the guy said "they're just donuts." The girl replied "they're Polish donuts." I gave them a look. Paczkis are so much better than regular donuts! Anyway, I ended up with white icing and raspberry filling. Mmmm. When I checked out, the cashier said that they looked really good, and I replied that they were the best part of Mardi Gras. The lady in front of me was older and had an accent, and she replied that it was the last day to indulge, because tomorrow was ashes. The statement was simple enough, but at that moment, I realized what Lent is all about. Being very low church, I do not generally celebrate Lent, as I think it can be more focused on what one gives up rather than the reason behind it. But, Lent is to prepare for Easter. To focus less on ourselves and more on Christ. Though I'm not going to give anything up for Lent, I am going to try to focus more on Him. So, I guess my Lenten resolution is to have more consistent quiet times of being in the Word and praying.

One down, how many to go?

2011-03-06T00:11:00.003-05:00

I presented at a conference today, and I think it went well. There are sessions tomorrow morning, but I'm going to skip the 2nd day in favor of church. Especially as I'm leading Sunday school in the morning.

I am rather exhausted and just want to rest, but I will be busy at least until Tuesday (and beyond, most likely). I have a friend coming down to visit and check out library school, which will be fun. I need to go to the store though, as I don't really have food in the house. I think I'm going to make poppy seedless chicken Sunday night.

Not much to report. I didn't realize how crazy busy this semester would be, but it is and I'm almost done.

News

2011-02-28T11:13:00.003-05:00

I am sorry for the long hiatus. I have been very busy and preoccupied with school and the job search. This week is going to be crazy as well, as I have to finish a paper for a conference on Saturday.

On Monday I went up to the dale and interviewed for the serials position at the college library. The current serials librarian will be retiring in June, and I applied for the position. The interview went very well, though the weather was crazy. There was a really bad ice storm that took out branches and power lines and phone lines, and the library was without power for the first half of the interview. It was kind of an adventure, and I was pretty relaxed. I was unable to meet with the provost, as he was unable to make it to campus due to the ice, but I received a call from him later in the week and he offered me the position. So, I will be back in the dale starting in June! I am very excited to be going back. The Lord is so good! I am still very busy, but that is one less stressor. (I was going to say, one less thing to worry about, but Sunday school was about worry, so I'm trying not to worry.)

I need to go, as I have a lot to do in a very short span of time. But, I will update more often. I just had to wait until my news was official. :-)

Encamped Along the Hills of Light

2011-02-07T14:32:00.002-05:00

I have finished the second run through of my data for my paper. I am in crunch mode, and it is too early in the semester for this. Hopefully the end of the semester will be more relaxed. I have 2 big things that need to be done in the next few weeks, and yesterday I was in complete panic/stress/freak out mode. It was not fun. I am feeling better, but I am still frustrated with myself, as I should be more together than I am. I can't wait until I have a real job and no homework. I know life will still be life: complicated, but hopefully in a different way. I really enjoyed having a real job and a life. It was easier. Now, I have school, work, and life, and it is hard to balance it all.

Last week, work was crazy, due to the ice storm. The library was closed Tues. and Wed., and Monday and Thursday were insane, as people were preparing for the storm and then eager to get out of the house after the storm. The storm was worst Tuesday night. I was a bit nervous. We basically had a zombie attack, but we were safe in the apartment. There were popping noises outside that sounded almost like gunshots, and the wind was blowing branches and ice around and knocking on my bedroom window. The next morning when we walked to the bus, it looked like icicle pieces were all over the ground. Zombie fingers. But we survived. (And no, I do not actually believe in zombies. Just some joking to ease the nerves.)

I am leading Sunday school for the next 5 weeks or so, and I'm kind of excited. Logistics with the prayers requests and such still need to be ironed out, but hopefully it will all get squared away.

I would appreciate prayers for the next few weeks, as they will be rather crazy, but I hope it will all go well and get done.

TTFN

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

2011-01-23T14:18:00.002-05:00

I led Sunday school today. We are basing our Sunday school lessons on the book The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel. Each chapter is about an issue that Christians deal with and ways in which we often act like there is no God, though we say that we believe in and follow Him. This week addressed shame, and I was a bit nervous about it, but the Lord was good and it went well. I enjoy leading, and we had really good conversation. I try to leave it very open and let people participate and the conversation go where it will. (Within reason, of course.) I always include scripture study, so we looked mainly at Psalm 51, which is David's repentance psalm after the Bathsheba incident. I will be leading Sunday school for at least the next 2 weeks, as the regular leader is attending a different study with his wife. I'm glad to give them the opportunity to have Sunday school together. I'm a bit self conscious leading a coed study as a woman, but no one really seems to mind. I have been a big proponent of peer leadership, and if I want it to be done, I should be willing to participate.

School is going well so far. I have a lot to do. I need to accomplish some things this afternoon. Finish a cover letter and start some other stuff. I am installing an exhibit of political and propaganda puzzles tomorrow morning, and I need to go to the Lilly and really work on my project/exhibit for my manuscripts class.

I had a wonderful evening yesterday, as I went to the university cinema and watched Fort Apache and She Wore a Yellow Ribbon. I like Fort Apache better, though Henry Fonda's character drove me crazy. It is kind of based on the story of Custer, or at least very similar to Custer's stupidity, which is frustrating. I do not like or revere Custer. He was stupid and got all his men killed because of it. Fort Apache has a wonderful cast though, Henry Fonda, John Wayne, Ward Bond, and a grown up Shirley Temple. I have decided that some of John Wayne's best movies are when he is alongside or opposite other very excellent actors/actresses. Thus the goodness of Rooster Cogburn and all the movies in which he played opposite Maureen O'Hara.

Today has gone very well so far, and I hope to do some homework, go to the Dave Ramsey session, and then work out after that.

TTFN

Grit

2011-01-18T00:24:00.002-05:00

The craziness is starting early. I knew this would be a busy semester, but I'm really going to need to work hard and have it together, and I don't feel like I do. I really need motivation. I have this problem every semester, and I feel like I say the same thing every semester. At least its my last semester. :-)

At church, people have been emphasizing the idea of choosing one word to define one's year. My word is change. I know there will be a lot of changes this year, and I hope that I am up for them. I also want to change in other ways (for the better of course): spiritually, mentally, and physically. I'm off to a good start with the physically. I'm starting to run more in preparation for the half marathon.

On Sunday I had lunch with my adopted parents, and then we watched Rooster Cogburn. Later that night, I went to the movies and saw True Grit. It was cool to see both movies in the same day. The new True Grit is really good. I love the language they used, more old fashioned, and the characters did not use any contractions, which lent a different feel to the dialog. Also, the musical theme was Leaning on the Everlasting Arms. I love hymns. The casting was really good, especially for Maddie, the young girl. It was a bit violent/graphic, but otherwise very good.

Night.

Hunger

2011-01-08T01:45:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading The Hunger Games. Wow. I don't necessarily like reading best sellers. I like some popular authors, and reading tried and true books, but I can be contrary and I don't always like to jump on the band wagon. I am still holding out against Harry Potter and Twilight. I was, however, totally caught up in The Hunger Games. I can't wait to read the other books. Thankfully, the holds aren't too long at the library. The book is well written, and it alludes to the Roman games, with some Roman names, like Cinna, Portia, and Flavius. So, there is the classical flavor, as well as a feeling of revolution and resistance, that I loved. Also, I hate love triangles, but the romance part keeps me guessing. I can't really figure it out yet. It's fast paced and intriguing.

I made real food tonight. Poppy seedless chicken. I'd been craving it.

My schedule is out of whack. I have a lot of things I need to do, but I am almost paralyzed in doing them. Motivation is so hard. I just want to be done and on my way. Done with school. Ready to start a new job. I feel like the world is my oyster, but I'm also scared. It's hard to apply to places without any frame of reference for the library in specific and the place in general. There's a battle between the familiar and the adventure.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T12:45:00.003-05:00

I like New Years, even though January seems like a weird time to start the new year. It would make more sense to me to have the years follow the school cycles, but not every one is in school, so I guess that wouldn't be the most practical. Anyway, I like New Years because it gives a sense of a new start and looking forward to what is to come in the following year. I also like making New Year's resolutions, and I have tried to make more practical ones that I actually plan on following through with in the past few years. I had one main resolution last year, and it was a continuous process last year, but it has been accomplished and I can make new ones this year.

The first resolution is the same one that everyone makes: exercise more. But, I actually will, because I will be running a half marathon in May, and I have to train for it. There are a lot of other resolutions I want to make, but the main one, on a more abstract level, is to really pursue God and work on my spiritual life. 2011 is going bring some really big changes for me, and I want my spiritual life to be firm and grounded in Christ, as I will need that constant in my life amidst all the upheaval of a new job and new place to live.

I have the whole day to myself! Yay holidays. No work, no outside obligations, only my own plans. I love days like this. I have a lot planned, though. I need to clean the house, write thank yous, and apply for jobs. Yes, I am starting the job application process. It seems fitting to start on the first day of the year. I have a few jobs picked out that look good, and I checked out some cover letter and resume books from the library. We have a rather good Job Search collection, so I decided to take advantage of it.

Also, I am no longer a reference intern at the public library. Yesterday was my last day. I am going to miss working over there, but I am grateful that I still have a position at the library.

Blessings to you all as you start the new year. I pray that God would guide your steps and that 2011 will bring growth, strength, and goodness.

Faith, hope, love, and the greatest of these is love.

Joy to the World

2010-12-18T23:17:00.003-05:00

Spending 5 hours in Sears was not what I had in mind for this evening, but my car is fixed. I had a flat tire, which was due to a broken spring. So, I had a new tire put on, new springs/struts, and an alignment. It took much longer than expected, and I felt bad for the mechanic, who ended up working over 3 hours of overtime. Sears is in the mall, and I did find a really cute dress on sale at The Limited.

I had a Christmas party last night, which was fun. I had a few friends over, and we talked and played telephone pictionary. I like small, low key gatherings with good friends.

I also got my old job as a team leader, formerly known as crew chief, back at the public library, so I am working 2 jobs until the end of December when the reference intern position ends. I am going to miss that job, but I am glad that I can continue working at the public library, and I did miss aspects of my circulation job. I also made a display board/cart for the library, and it has done well and garnered some complements. One half is dedicated to "Winter Festivities," and the other half is "The Weather is Frightful: Books About Extreme Weather." The winter festivities side is cuter, but I like the other theme better. :-)

I have to work on Sunday morning, which means that I will be going to early service, and I have to miss Sunday school. I'm bummed about missing Sunday school, as we will be discussing the role of men.

Pine Scent and Lasagna

2010-12-02T22:38:00.002-05:00

Our apartment smells like pine tree and lasagna. Separately, they are good scents, but together, it's an interesting combination. I bought a tree today. It's a very nice tree. I like it. It is, however, a bit big. My tree last year was the perfect size, but this year, it takes up a quarter of the living room. My roomie and I periodically just start laughing at it. My roomie is being very cool with it. She said it's like living in a forest. :-) It's definitely a conversation piece. I'm going to start trimming it this weekend.

There are so many things that I would like to do or to be "into," passionate about. But, one can only be "into" or passionate about a few things. My "things" are my faith, people (relationships, i.e. friends, family, patrons, etc.), books, libraries, and objects in libraries. This is actually a longer list than I thought, but I think it is difficult to be passionate about more than 5, maybe 6 things. Thus, I would like to be a better cook, crochet, work on my Spanish, learn tech skills, etc. But, I don't have the space or ability to be into these things. I can add them to my schedule, but they're not my thing, and that's ok. Time and desire. Time and desire.

Hallelujah

2010-12-02T12:25:00.003-05:00

I wanted to share this video. The beauty of this song brings tears to my eyes. There's another video of a flash mob in a food court singing the same song, which is also amazing and highly recommended. I'm so glad that this song transcends our secularized culture. It's beauty and meaning is beyond words.

Heaven is Going to Be Huge!

2010-11-28T12:30:00.004-05:00

Our new sermon series is about heaven, and I'm enjoying it. Today, the pastor talked about the dimensions of heaven and put it in terms I could relate to. It's going to be huge, and I'm so excited, because that means that everyone will fit. :-) And, eternity isn't as scary, because we will have no time restrictions, so we will be able to meet everyone and do everything and be with God forever! Though I really still can't visualize what it will be like; I'm just trusting that God will reveal all in His time and give me the strength to go through anything.

God is Good

2010-11-27T20:05:00.004-05:00

This is crazy busy nutso time for me, so I probably won't be posting too much. Then again, I may post more. I'm so very good at procrastinating. :-/

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It was so good to see my family, and I'm especially glad that I was able to see my brother, as I think seeing him will be more rare due to distance. Break was much too short, as I came home Wednesday night after working until 9 PM and then had to come back Friday night, as I worked 8:30 AM-5 PM today. I have to work tomorrow too. :-( But, it's good to get the hours in. I packed a lot into 2 days, including visiting with family and friends, a bit of shopping, and even some homework. *gasp*

I'm really getting into my project for my evaluations class. I'm doing real research and it's really cool, though somewhat overwhelming.

I went to the opera on the 19th for the first time. My roomie and I went with our neighbor. It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed getting all dressed up and fancy, and it was all of our first times, so we shared the experience together. We saw Die Fledermaus by Strauss. It was a comedy, so lots of shenanigans and no death. It was a nice romp, and I enjoyed the music. Strauss is a fun, lively composer.

There is a blog post on the Boundless website entitled "Thanks for Nothing." The poster asks the question what are we thankful for that didn't happen? I think the topic is a really good one to ponder. I am personally thankful that I didn't get into U of I. Twice. Rejection is not easy, but it meant that I was able to work at the 'dale for a year and live on my own, and I was also able to come here to b-town. God is good, even when I don't understand what He's doing.

I'm Workin' on a Buildin'

2010-11-18T11:21:00.002-05:00

November is finally upon us. It's dreary gray and cold. Which is as it should be. We have had an unnaturally sunny November.

I have the whole day free, so I am planning on heading up to campus after lunch and working very hard on my project for my evaluations class. I am nervous and excited about this project, as I am doing "real" research, and it is rather different from my normal research papers. I'm praying that it goes well.

I was sick last weekend, and I am doing much better, but I am still feeling weary and low energy, which is frustrating. Especially since I want to go running but know that I shouldn't until I'm back to normal.

I'm going to the opera tomorrow night with my roomie and our neighbor. It's Die Fledermaus. I've never been to the opera, and I'm rather excited, especially for the opportunity to get dressed up and go out for the evening.

I wish I had more deep thoughts, but stress is not conducive to that right now.

Blessings.

13.1 Miles

2010-11-11T15:40:00.002-05:00

I just signed up for the mini/half marathon in Indy in May! It's the largest mini marathon in nation, and I'm excited for the experience. I can't really believe that I'm doing this, but I'm also excited. I have at least 2 other friends who are running as well, so I'll have people to train with. I know there will be days that I will so regret my decision, but I think it will, overall be good. I'm looking forward to proving to myself that I can run long distances. Now, I need to buy a good pair of running shoes.

I think I am getting sick. I have a sore throat, and I had it yesterday too. Not cool. Hopefully it's not a bad cold. I have a lot to do.

I have taught 4 instruction sessions this week, and it's been a lot of fun. This last session was rather out of my comfort zone, as it dealt with statistics and government documents, which I am not very comfortable with, but I learned more about resources we have and that are available. And, I like learning. I talked with several different librarians, and it was good. Slowly but surely, I'm becoming more familiar with Lexis Nexis. Good times.

I really need to go grocery shopping and clean my room. I'm rather out of food. I have almost finished the entire box of elbow macaroni that I made the other day. I didn't realize that not making the whole box was an option until my roomie mentioned it. Oh well, leftovers are good. :-)

We got a new dishwasher the other day, as our old one had been making horrendous grating/grinding noises. We didn't expect a new dishwasher, but we are not complaining. :-)

Running and such musings

2010-11-06T18:28:00.002-04:00

I was up at 5 AM this morning. Which is a ridiculous hour of the morning and should not be observed by being awake. At least not by me. But, I woke and rose to go to Indy and cheer for my friends running a half marathon. They were awesome, and I enjoyed being very loud and bouncing my voice off of the buildings. Now, I am contemplating signing up for the one in May. I am not really a runner and I will be busy next semester, but it may help me blow off steam and destress. Also, I'd like to say that I did it. Running 13.1 miles is quite the achievement.

I'm going over to a friend's house to work on a big project tonight. November will be full of me being very busy and working on my big projects. All semester projects are so hard for me, as my time management skills are less than stellar. I just need to work hard and not panic too much.

I made meatloaf wellington the other night. I really need to work on making meals for myself and eating better. The meatloaf wellington was very good though, and I'm not generally a fan of meatloaf. But, wrap it in croissants, and everything tastes better. :-)

Love and Blessings.

Kilroy Was Here

2010-10-31T21:19:00.003-04:00

Ron Paul

I carved a pumpkin for the first time on Friday. It was so much fun! I made a Kilroy pumpkin. There is a bar in town called Kilroys, but I did not do it because of the bar. I like the historical, WWII graffiti aspect of it. I thought it might not turn out, but it turned out ok for a first time. There were five of us who went to my friend's farm and carved pumpkins. We invited everyone from Sunday school, but only the five of us came, which was nice, as I like smaller groups. We were rather unprepared, as we ran off without the s'mores, and I brought hot chocolate and water but no cups or anything to heat it up in. :-) We did bring knives, but no spoon to scoop the guts. Oh well. I had a blast!

I am not very good at waiting, and there are so many things in life that require waiting. I do not like the whole tenor of instance gratification in our society, but it is easy to get caught up in it. We're used to having what we want when we want it, or at least the possibility to obtain it soon. But, sometimes I have to wait. And that's a good thing. Wait for outside decisions. Wait for the Lord to work. Waiting can be good, but it is hard.

Stormy Day

2010-10-26T10:57:00.002-04:00

We really need the rain.

I went camping on Friday with people from Bible study. I haven't been camping in several years, and it was fun. I felt rather unprepared, in regards to not bringing a cup or eating/cooking utensils, but there were a few "die hard" campers who were prepared. I slept fairly well, and it was a good time just hanging out and talking by the campfire. The campground was really full, but we were off in a tent area, so we were separated a little from the RVs. I also discovered that a pancake with bacon is quite delicious.

On Saturday I went to a "librarian" party with people from the program. I went as a hippie librarian. :-) It was ok, but we didn't stay long.

Yesterday, I went and heard Ron Paul speak. It was good; I agreed with about half of what he said. I really agree with the "we need better economic policy" and "we need to get back to the Constitution." I'm not so much into his foreign policy and legalizing drugs (hard drugs, that is). I was disappointed with the Q and A after the speech. They had a few questions on cards that they read off, and the questions were really lame. There wasn't any opportunity for the audience to ask questions. I didn't know that they had question cards. I wanted to ask him how liberty and individual freedom can work if people do not know how to govern themselves, especially with our current entitlement society and reliance upon government to make decisions for us. I think I was spoiled at the 'dale.

On Friday, I'm going to a friend's farm with people from Sunday school to carve pumpkins and maybe have a bonfire. The bonfire is contingent upon the lifting of the burn ban, so we'll see.

Well, I need to do some work.

TTFN

Rawness and Big Questions

2010-10-19T01:36:00.002-04:00

I just finished reading The True Story of Hansel and Gretel. It's a retelling of the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale set in WWII Poland. It was very good, but very raw. It is accurate with what I know of Poland during that time, as well as what I know of the Nazis. The author showed both the children and the parents story, which was really cool. The father and stepmother have to abandon the children when they are being chased by the Nazis, and the parents join the partisans in the forest. I haven't read a book in awhile. I'll start one but then not be able to get into it, or I'll read it very slowly. But, I was able to really get into this one. It was very well written, and I am interested in learning about what happened in Poland during WWII. Poland really got the brunt of the Nazis, and they knew that their "saviors," the Russians, weren't much better. I recommend the book, but it is very raw and vivid with disturbing content. It's war and the author portrays that.

This book also made me think of some of the bigger, deeper questions. I've been wondering lately how God can do it all. I know that He is much bigger than I and that I cannot fathom Him, but it's just so big. How can he know everyone. And not just know everyone, but know them intimately and care about their issues and work with them. And make us feel that we have His attention. When I talk with God, it's just me and God, but I know He's taking care of millions of people at the same time. I don't understand. But that's ok. I'll hopefully understand more fully someday.

In a lighter note, I watched The Secret of Moonacre tonight. It's a British film, and I expected it to be cheesy and funny, but it was rather well done. It's kind of a Beauty and the Beast story, and the main character was beautiful, and the costume design stunning, except for the bad guys, one of whom especially looked like the guy from A Clockwork Orange. He also wore a collar studded with pheasant feathers. It also has Ioan Gruffudd in it, which was funny. I'm not a big fan of his, but it made me think of my friends who really like him. I'm more partial to Jamie Bamber, myself, though he was sadly not in the film.

Doings

2010-10-15T20:14:00.003-04:00

Well, God took away my contingency plan. I applied for another position in the library where I work, but I did not get it. It is a blessing in that I don't have to pull a crazy schedule this semester, but I am a bit worried about having a job after December. Everything will work out though.

I have wasted my day today. Ugh, I need to be productive.

I am looking forward to a visit from Angy! It will be good to see her again.

I'm leading Sunday school on Sunday, and I need to prepare tonight, as I will not get anything "productive" done tomorrow. I do have a lot planned tomorrow, just not homework. :-)

I am not good at multi-tasking. Hence the fragmented post. TV, conversation, and trying to write a blog post don't really mix.

TTFN

2010-10-11T13:18:00.002-04:00

Not much to say. I'm starting to collect resources for my evaluation project. I like the searching/collecting/research part of a project the best. Hence, library school.

The weekend was characterized by good food. I had a party with my old co-workers from the public library on Friday, and then I made breakfast Saturday morning for church friends who are training for a half marathon. And on Sunday, we had a 20 somethings potluck.

I wish I could major in "life." It keeps me busy enough without all this school stuff. Though I really can't complain, as my work load is not bad this semester. At least so far.

Oops, I Did It Again

2010-10-02T21:45:00.002-04:00

Sorry to quote Britney Spears, but the quote is appropriate. I was really tired after work today, as I was up early to be water girl for my friends who are training for a 1/2 marathon. I then had to work from 8:30-5. So, after I got home, I went to sleep. For 4 hours. Bad idea. Who knows when I'll go to bed. I seem to do this a little too frequently.

I had a great time with other alums from the dale last night. I decided that I wanted to have a get together, so I coordinated a potluck for other alums in the area. There are quite a few of us, and we even met an alum who graduated in '95, which was cool. It was so nice to be able to talk and share stories and be myself. I didn't have to worry that I'd say something wrong or offend someone regarding my faith and politics. I was also told, that for H-dale standards, I'm normal. :-) It was also one of the best potlucks I've been to foodwise. Nothing was store bought. One guy brought homemade bread, another brought an apple pie! I was unfortunately too full to have any pie. I brought lasagna, which was a big hit. Only about 2 pieces left. Which I should eat tonight as I haven't eaten yet.

I can finally go to Bible study this week! I don't have to work on Tuesday for a few weeks now. I am also looking forward to Sunday school. We had a long meeting regarding Sunday school last Tuesday. The jury is still out on how productive it was. I do enjoy the camaraderie with some of the other people in the group. I have friends! :-)

To do this week: Do my cataloging homework. Work really hard on my evaluation project, specifically the IRB. Ugh. Ethical paperwork.

The Beautiful, Wonderful, So Good, Almost Perfect Day

2010-09-27T15:13:00.002-04:00

Because nothing is completely perfect.

Yesterday, I learned how to wakeboard, waterski, and drive a tractor. I have a friend who owns a boat, and a group of us went out on the lake yesterday. It was really cold, but the water wasn't that bad. I had a few good runs, but more wipeouts. I was impressed that I was able to get up on both the wakeboard and the skis. I can't stand up that well yet, as I tend to fall over when I stand up. I am rather good at "butt skooting" on the skis though. :-) It's quite the workout. My legs gave out after my good run on the skis. It was freezing getting out of the water, but it was so worth it! Though it was cold, it was a beautiful day, and I really enjoyed getting out of town and seeing the countryside. I also found a conservative/libertarian friend. This is the most fun I've had here in a long time.

Also, I found someone to go with me to see Ron Paul later this month. Here's hoping I don't have to work.

War of 1812

2010-09-19T20:58:00.004-04:00

I had a wonderful weekend. Great company and no work. A perfect combination. I had a great weekend in Ohio. It was so nice to see my friend again and also meet her friends. The first night we went to a nice Italian restaurant. I felt bad because I was late, but they were very gracious about having to wait. It was right by the river and the view of the river and city skyline was pleasant, though it got a bit chilly. We played Apples to Apples afterward, and I did decent. I beat the boys at least. :-) The next day my friend and I went to Fort Meigs, which was fun and relaxing. The pictures are from the fort. There was one "interpreter," who was pretty cool. I think he was a college kid doing it on the weekend, and he seemed to enjoy his job. He was very knowledgeable about the fort. I wish we could have talked to him more, but another group joined us. I don't know much about the War of 1812, and it was interesting to learn about the fort and the time period. After the fort we got ice cream, and I had a positively delicious cake batter ice cream/shake. With sprinkles. :-) After that, we had girls' night with another of her friends. We ate at a great Indian restaurant and then watched Love's Enduring Promise, which is my favorite of the series.

I also realized this weekend that I am firmly entrenched in grownup land. I have talked with friends about grownup land before, but it's starting to sink in. I know I'm still in school, but things are just feeling different. More...staid. I'm less young. Less idealistic and excited about the future, I guess. Things are different. Not bad different, but I'm trying to figure out how it's different. I'm not in undergrad anymore. And I never will be.

This will be a full week, and I should start on some homework. Here's to being productive.

Rejoice With Me

2010-09-16T14:46:00.002-04:00

For I have turned in an assignment long before it was due. (Baby steps. Baby steps.)

I am looking forward to the weekend with great anticipation, as I have a 3 day weekend and plan to spend time with a dear friend. I have been fairly busy this past week with a lot of meetings and such. I signed up to be a "mentor" for new people in my program, so I met with both of my "mentees." They are really nice; the mentor assignment person did a really good job. I am also doing my first observation for my instruction assistant position tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. I'm a bit intimidated to be teaching again, but I think it will go well.

Short post, but I need to go.
TTFN

And I Helped

2010-09-08T10:08:00.003-04:00

For all my libertarian friends out there, Ron Paul is going to be on campus in October. I think I'm going to go hear him, as I'm interested in knowing a bit more about him and his ideas/stance on things. I'm pretty sure I won't agree with him on everything, but probably on some things. I also feel a bit responsible, as I signed the petition for him to come. Last year at the bus stop, a guy asked if I'd be willing to sign the petition. I almost didn't, but I changed my mind. This campus is so liberal; bring on the exchange of ideas!

I'm going to the conservatory tonight. I went on a tour of campus with the archives group on Friday, and when we stopped at the observatory, there was a guy there who invited us to go up and check it out. So cool! It's an old reflecting telescope, and it still works very well, I'm told. So, stargazing tonight. They have community stargazing every Wednesday, so I decided to check it out after work tonight.

Happy Proletariat Day

2010-09-06T21:38:00.002-04:00

Or in my case, Happy Unproletariat Day. My university does not believe in giving us Labor Day off. Though they supposedly will next year, but that will not help me.

I am exhausted right now, and we are waiting for pizza. And watching Gilmore Girls.

My roomie and I went to Bollywood Dancefit on Saturday. It was so much fun! I definitely want to keep going. I'm stiff and a bit sore, but not as much as I thought I'd be. I love dancing, and I'm hoping to pick up fun moves. Maybe learn the snake dance from Bride and Prejudice. :-)

I wore mascara today. I am getting girlier as I'm getting older. I'm really kind of clueless when it comes to make-up. I'm thinking of trying eye shadow, but I touch my eyes too much. I know it would smudge like crazy.

Not much to report.

Lonely Goatherd

2010-09-03T00:07:00.002-04:00

I got the instruction assistant position I applied for. It should be good experience, though very few hours.

I am finding it very difficult to start studying again. ergh.

The neighbor boys came by. They were going for ice cream. I have some already, but when they get back, we'll have an ice cream "party." No, it's not too late. :-)

I've been reading a book about prayer and Christian meditation. It's a good jump start for me. I don't agree with everything in the book, but it has some good insights, and it's making me think about prayer and meditation more and focus on my spiritual life more, which is good. It is due back tomorrow, which is a good thing, because there are holds on it, meaning that other people want to read it, but it's bad for me, as I'm not finished with it. :-( I have, however, picked up Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God and St. Ignatius' Exercises. These are classics of the faith, and I get them for longer, as they're from the university library.

I have a lot of things I'd like to accomplish and work on this semester. Big projects and such. I really need to get my priorities together and work hard to accomplish my big goals. Otherwise, they will just speed on by.

I'm going on a historical walking tour around campus with the archives group. The college archivist and professor of many of the archives classes is going to be leading it. He is an interesting fellow. I'm looking forward to it. :-)

Standing on the Promises

2010-08-31T14:57:00.003-04:00

Classes started yesterday. The first day of classes always takes it out of me. I think my classes may be better than I was expecting. Except for cataloging. There really is no hope for that one. It is almost impossible to make cataloging interesting or engaging. It is important, but dry as dust.

There is another alum from the dale who actually lives in my apartment complex, so I had him and his roommate over, as well as the neighbor boys for blackberry cobbler and ice cream. It was a good time, though we were all rather tired. I think I'm getting a life again. I went out with my roomie and one of the neighbor boys on Sunday night, and I have plans for tonight as well.

I'm really going to try to have a game plan and manage my time well this semester. I know, you're thinking, "yeah, yeah, haven't I heard this before?". And the answer is: yes. Yes you have. But there is always hope. Also, there may be necessity, as I'm thinking about adding a second job, as my current one will end in December. I would appreciate prayers for a job, as well as my work load and sanity. :-)

I'm super excited, because in a few weeks, I have a Sunday off! And another week, I have a Saturday off. Crazy, and I'm very excited. I always work Saturday and Sunday, so it will be rather awesome to have off. Maybe I can actually go to lunch with people from church.

Things are going well, and I am trusting the Lord for this year. We'll see what He has planned.

Life is...Life

2010-08-24T12:25:00.004-04:00

I have an interview for a position on campus. I don't think it will be many hours, but it will be good experience. I really need to start applying for more things. I don't want to, but that is not a valid excuse. I wish I wasn't losing my job in December. I'm going really going to miss working there.

My car is back! Now I have to take it to Midas, as the check engine light is on. Oh joy. It will give me some time to read and possibly look over my paper. It's hard to believe that school starts next week. I feel like I hardly had a summer. It went by so quickly.

I am making Mushroom Rugelach. I bought the ingredients and needed to make it before the mushrooms went bad. It's from the New Blue Ridge Cookbook. Hopefully it turns out well. My roommate made roast the other night, and it was so good and tender! She also made the creamiest real mashed potatoes I've ever had. So good!

A friend from the dale is living in my apartment complex. I met him at the bus stop yesterday morning. I'm hoping to have him and his roommate over sometime, as well as the neighbor boys. It's getting busy here again. There are a lot of new people here, and I remember what it was like for me last year. I want to be welcoming and open to people. I know we'll have new people at church, as well as in classes. I am glad, however, that I know the ropes a bit. I'm just now starting to feel like I somewhat belong here.

I feel like I have half a million little things (and some not so little things) to do. I accomplished some things yesterday, but not enough.

Love the 80s

2010-08-18T23:50:00.005-04:00

I am currently watching Beauty and the Beast, which is a TV series from the late 80s. It is ridiculous and 80s tastic. Somewhat entertaining nonetheless. It's interesting to see the values and dynamics of the 80s. As well as the extremely outdated technology.

I got my computer today. And also logged a complaint. I very rarely call companies and complain, but I did today. FedEx left my computer outside my apartment, in between my doors. Anyone could have come by and taken it. It was supposed to be signed for, and they should not have left it unattended. The guy I talked to was very good and hopefully something will be done. If no one says anything, nothing will get changed.

I had a very good beginning of the week. The wedding was beautiful. They are an adorable couple, and I loved her dress. It was good to see people again and be home. It was so nice to be home with my family. I spent a lot of time with my dad, as Mom started school on Monday. And, Dad picked me up and dropped me off to and from home, as my car is still in the shop. It should be done on Friday. Hopefully! I really want to go garage saling Friday. Dad and I went to the state fair on Monday. It's kind of a tradition with us, though we haven't been able to go in a few years. I had traditional fair food. I usually eat at the Ethnic Village, but I can get good ethnic food here in town. I'm spoiled. :-) I was able to get a deep fried Snickers. My favorite. :-) I also had a huge turkey leg. I felt like a barbarian. We went to Conservation World and the exhibition hall. The places stay the same, but it is still fun to go and walk around.

Along the 80s theme, we watched the movie Next of Kin, which is a wonderful, cheesy 80s movie about hillbillys versus the mob. I love it! It has Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Adam Baldwin, Ben Stiller, and Helen Hunt. An interesting bunch of big name actors. I never thought that I liked the 80s, but I'm finding them cheesy and fun.

I had a good break, but now it's back to life. Sigh.

Higglety Pigglety

2010-08-13T12:04:00.002-04:00

I have awesome neighbors. One of them came down and cleaned our carpet, as he had rented a carpet cleaner and still had solution and time on the rental. So nice of him!

Also, I had a slight scare about my computer, as I received an e-mail with the wrong order number, but I called and everything is ok. My computer is almost ready to be shipped!

We got cable yesterday, and we are kind of ridiculously excited about it. I'm such a TV junkie. :-)

My car is in the shop, and I should call and see how long it will take to be fixed. Hopefully all will go well and not take too long.

I have learned how to kill fruit flies. Put vinegar in a bowl and mix it with dish soap. The vinegar attracts the flies and the dish soap kills them. It works well, and we have a nice collection of fly corpses.

There is a lot of moving and getting ready for the new school year around here. I need to focus on what's coming up, but I am enjoying a more relaxed schedule right now. I work this afternoon. Three hours in AV and 1 at regular reference. I like working in AV. It is a nice change of pace. And I love doing staff picks. :-)

Take care

Blessings in Unexpected Places

2010-08-10T17:08:00.003-04:00

I have just been blessed by a Dell sales representative. I need a new computer, as mine just turned 6 years old, which is ancient in technology years, though it is still plugging away. So, I decided to buy a new one and ordered through Dell, as I was able to get a discount through my university. I had a friend help me out earlier this summer, and he showed me what computer to order. So, I found the same model, but the price was higher than I wanted. It was still in my price range though, so I ordered it. I could tell I was talking to a guy in a call center, probably in India or someplace, and I was slightly stressed and annoyed. I mentioned that I didn't need Microsoft Office, but it didn't seem like there was much I could do, so I ordered the computer. He just called me back and said he found the exact same computer, without Microsoft Office, for $100 less! I can't believe he checked and then called me back so that I could save money! I am so touched and blessed right now. God works in wonderful, unexpected ways.

In other news, my car is currently out of commission. Exiting a parking garage Sunday night, I was a bit over confident and did not get the corner right, so I hit the yellow concrete poles as I exited and dented my two passenger doors and knocked off my passenger side mirror. I was so embarrassed. I had to call the police and get a report written. The officer was very nice, and he said that I should go home and have a hot cup of tea, which was very good advice. And I did, as I believe in taking police advice. :-) So, Wild Peter has yellow racing stripes and dented doors. I am ok, and there is no front or back end damage. Only side damage. I have been in contact with the insurance and an autobody shop. The shop I chose has been really good so far. A guy came to my apartment to take pictures and assess the damage, and he then offered to pick it up when the parts come in!

Also, I finished up my internship with the puzzles today. I am looking forward to sleeping in. And only having 2 jobs. And catching up on life. Unfortunately, I need to bug my roommate for a ride to Kroger, as I am low on food, but hopefully it won't be too much of an inconvenience. I need to eat something and clean up a bit before my new roomie comes home.

Love and Blessings.

Round and Round the Mulberry Bush

2010-08-06T22:27:00.003-04:00

I took a "nap" this evening, and my body decided that I had gone to bed. I probably hijacked my sleep schedule, but oh well. I have a lot of things I should do tonight, but I doubt they will get done. I really dislike working weekends. It's hard to get things done.

I was a the Lilly Library all day today. I have finished the hours for my internship, now I need to finish everything else for it, like reading articles, write my journal, and make up a presentation. I stayed later than I was expecting to, as there were some people who came in to specifically look at the puzzles. They were very excited and knowledgeable, and I learned a lot from them as well. :-) It's nice when you can share collections with people who are really interested.

I have a new roommate. Two new roommates actually. She has a rabbit named Louie. He is beautiful and very soft. She lets him out when she is home and he runs around the apartment. Everything is going very well so far, and I am looking forward to the rest of the year, as I think this is going to work out well.

Good night.

Come and Dine the Master Calleth Come and Dine

2010-07-21T21:12:00.002-04:00

I just bought a table and 4 wooden chairs. Really cheap, which is awesome. And, two of the chairs are caned! I didn't know this from the picture on craigslist, and I am very excited. The chairs match in pairs, so there are two caned chairs and two uncaned chairs. I wasn't able to bring the table back, as it wouldn't fit in the car, so I need to see if one of my friends who has an SUV can help me haul it. Angy moved out the table and couch, and it will be a couple weeks before my new roommate moves in. She has a couch, and I think I may get one of my rocking chairs that are currently in my room at my parents' house. It will be the same apartment, but it will look different, as it will have "new" furniture. I'll have to get used to that. :-)

I really need to go to the store and buy food. But the deli is closed. And I don't want to go out. But I really need beverages and food. Sigh.

Dissatisfaction

2010-07-18T11:56:00.002-04:00

I do not think that dissatisfaction is a bad thing, as long as it is properly channeled. Nothing in this world will truly satisfy us, so we search for something to fill the void that we feel. Everyone seeks satisfaction a little differently, as we all have slightly different propensities and appetites. In trying to satisfy ourselves with things only of this world, however, we will never be filled, never be satisfied. Thus, our dissatisfaction should look up, and we should seek spiritual satisfaction. It will never be enough, though. Not on this earth. Sometimes it is easy to think that we are bad Christians if we are not truly satisfied spiritually. But we will never be spiritually satisfied. Not as long as we are still on earth and denied perfect union with Jesus. We will always want more. This dissatisfaction, however, is good. If we are satisfied with our Christian walk, then we are not where we should be and are on dangerous ground. Satan wants us to be "satisfied," complacent. Happy with where we are and not willing to put more effort into our relationship with Christ. I do not like feeling dissatisfied, but I know that this dissatisfaction can lead to better things if I channel it into my spiritual walk instead of seeking other things to fill it.

Balm for the Soul

2010-07-16T22:10:00.002-04:00

I picked blackberries today. About 1/2 gallon. It is the end of the season, and I found out that I missed blueberry season. :-( But, Mom brought blueberries with her, so that is good. My family, including my brother came up and visited me yesterday. It was so good to see them again and just be with them. This was my brother's first time up, and I'm glad that he made it up. We are both so busy that we don't get to see each other much.

Back to blackberries, the church I attend has an adopt a college student program, and though I didn't really think I qualified, as I'm a graduate student and not homesick or anything, the 20 somethings Sunday school leader sent my name to the guy in charge of it, and I now have a set of adopted parents. My adopted mom has a friend who has blackberry bushes, and she let me come out and pick some, which was very nice.

I feel redundant saying that I'm busy, and it feels like a cop out or excuse sometimes, but I am always on the go, with either work or volunteering or social life, which is not bad, as I'd rather be busy than bored, but I also miss having down time. I need large blocks of time to motivate for letter writing and working on my academic pursuits, and I just don't have that. The summer is flying by, and there is still a lot I'd like/need to do. Sigh. Time always gets away from me.

I'm sorry for my absence fr0m the blog, but I do most of my internetting at work, and there are certain sites I do not go to, my blog being one of them, and I'm usually not in the mood to post when I get home. Thus, I realize that I have not yet updated about Philadelphia or Ohio. I had a lovely 4th of July weekend in Ohio with my college friends. We visited one of my friends and got to hold her adorable baby girl. I haven't held a baby in a long time, especially one so little. She is 3 months old. We found a wonderful ice cream place and had gourmet ice cream. My favorite was the pear, though the goat cheese with cherry was rather good too.

RBMS was quite the adventure, ending with a taxi ride in a hailstorm to the airport. I have decided that flying is not all that it's cracked up to be. Layovers and 2 hour delays. Not fun. I have a wonderful friend, however, who was willing to pick me up from the airport at 1 AM. We didn't get home until 2:30 AM. I tried to stay awake, but I just couldn't and fell asleep on the way home. For the conference, I stayed in the dorms, which was the cheapest option, but not the most convenient, as they were 2 miles away from the conference hotel. So, I would take the subway in and then a taxi back at night, as I was not going to take the subway after dark. One night, however, I had a security escort walk me back to the dorms, as I was within walking distance, but unsure of where my dorm was and definitely not going to wander around Philadelphia after 10 PM by myself. Drexel and UPenn are right next to each other, and they have security escorts who ride around on bikes patrolling and walking people home, which was very nice, and I had a good time talking with the guy who walked me back. I met some interesting people at the conference, and my favorite session was on outreach and special collections. Some people have done some really interesting things regarding outreach, and I was inspired. I wish I had tried harder with outreach at my old job. I signed up for a "buddy," someone who was an older and more experience member, and I met up with mine for lunch. She gave me a lot to think about, and I really appreciate meeting with her. It was one of the best things to come from the conference. There was also a book arts fair, which was really cool, but of course way out of my price range, even the cheap stuff. When I get a real job and have some expendable money though, I would love to purchase book or literary art. That's my kind of art. :-) Unfortunately, I was unable to explore much of Philly, though I did go to the Reading Street Market. That was fun and quite the experience. I'm proud of myself that I did not freak out with the crowds. Maybe I'm maturing. :-)

There is much more I could say, but this is a long post.

Blessings

Breathing

2010-07-07T01:01:00.002-04:00

I am done with my travels for the summer, and I am just now trying to breathe and catch up. Gain control and order over my schedule rather than letting it control me. I have so much that I need and want to do, but little time to do it in. One can do a lot if one mentally prepares oneself for it.

I had a good time at RBMS and a wonderful weekend with friends in Ohio. There is more to tell, but I am tired and it is late. Thus, this must be a post of my existence and apologies for my lack of posting.

More on the morrow.

West Virginia

2010-06-19T18:41:00.003-04:00

Whitewater rafting was amazing! This birthday ranks up there with the train trip to Chicago for my 5th birthday. I have bruises up and down my shins, lobster red knees and upper legs, and a slightly bruised eye. And I had a blast. We had a really good raft of people and a good guide. He was really chill and laid back, but he knew what he was doing and he was good at "surfing" and hitting the rapids. Surfing is when you go back up stream after coming down a rapid and "surfing" the middle rough area. It's kind of like a mechanical bull ride. There were some pretty rough rapids, and we all fell out a few times. The last time I fell out was in water that was recirculating. Our guide said if we fell out in that, it would feel like being in a washing machine. You would keep going round and round. It felt exactly like that too. I fell out and I realized that I was not bobbing to the surface like normal, but instead the river was keeping me under. There was the moment of fear as I pulled my legs to my chest, curling up into a ball, and I resurfaced. I'm so glad I remembered and had the presence of mind to curl up, as that gets you out of it. If you fight it, you'll just keep going. The water was so powerful, and you knew you were doing something rather dangerous, but it was so much fun and so exhilarating. You bond with your raftmates and guide. It's hard to describe the roar of the river as you head to the rapids, and then the feeling of heading back into it. A feeling of dread, but there's not much you can do, so you go and enjoy the ride.

There were six of us, plus a guide, and we are all about the same age and athletic ability, though I'm pretty sure I was the weakest. I was kind of the raft's rescue mission, as my spindly little arms couldn't pull myself into the boat, so the guys were kind enough to haul me in each time I either fell out or had swum. We were all really in sync with our paddling, and our guide was impressed and said he would take us on the Gauley River if we came again, which is a more intense ride than the New River, which was the river we were on. I would love to do that sometime, but I would definitely need to work out and prepare for that. Get a little stronger. :-) I was absolutely exhausted trying to swim to the boat at times, especially against the current. I felt like such a weakling. Everyone was really supportive, though, and I was pretty good with the paddling. Out of everyone in our group, I was the most banged up, but some girls got really bad sunburns on their legs. I did get hit in the eye with the top of someone's paddle, but I do not have a black eye or shiner, which is good, as that would be an interesting conversation starter at my conference. I was kind of proud of the fact that I might get my first black eye, but it was not to be. My contact did fall out though, and the guide was kind and kept it in his case, so I did the last few rapids with 1/2 my vision. It wasn't that bad though.

I realize that this really doesn't mean much to people who were not on the trip or haven't rafted, but it was such an experience, and I won't forget it for awhile. Also, you don't quite know what adventure is until you are in a church van, doing hairpin turns, on a mountain, in the dark, and unable to find the campground. Was a little intense.

Missing

2010-06-14T06:55:00.002-04:00

To miss someone or something is such a deep and human emotion, but whenever it is articulated or mentioned, it sounds so trite. Maybe it's because we overuse it, or use it lightly. A flippant "miss you, wish you were here." But there is the deep missing, the deep longing that doesn't really go away, no matter how long it's been since you've seen the person or people. It's not always felt, but it's always there, just waiting for a trigger, a memory.

I think that missing is often disregarded in our society. If you miss someone and mention it too many times, then you feel whiny, and the feeling is often, move on, don't dwell on or live in the past. But, I don't think that we should ever disregard the past or forget our love for the people who have meant so much but are no longer in close proximity.

Glorious Sleep

2010-06-09T17:38:00.002-04:00

I slept for about 13 hours last night, and it was wonderful. I had been rather low on sleep, coupled with basically an all nighter the night before, and so I went to bed around 6 and got up at 8 the next morning. I didn't think I would actually sleep the whole night, but I obviously needed it.

I was supposed to work this afternoon, but I had an eye appointment, so I was able to take off. I am going to try contacts again. We'll see. I can't read from the computer as well as with glasses. It's a little blurry, and causing some eyestrain. We'll see how regular reading goes.

I should do some homework tonight, but I really just want to veg and relax. This week is crazy with homework and my 2nd job started, so extra work hours. However, this is the last week of class. It's over on Tuesday, which is exciting. Then, next week is rafting and after that, RBMS. I'm really looking forward to rafting. It will be so nice to get away and be out in the beauty. A group of us from church went out to a local park/campsite and hung out around the campfire. I had homework to do, but it was worth it. When you get out and camp, everything else doesn't matter, doesn't exist. For 5 hours, there was no EAD or work. And it was nice.

Things are very busy, but they will be ok. It will start getting harder, though, as I've been scheduled for Sundays now. Sundays mean a lot to me, and with my schedule the way it is, it would be the one day where I didn't have to work. But, both my jobs have been scheduling me to work that day. The reference job isn't that bad, as I can still make it to Sunday school and church, but the page job means that I have to adjust my Sunday morning schedule, going to early service and sometimes missing Sunday school, which has become really important to me. I would appreciate prayers, as I know from experience it is really hard to keep a good attitude when I have to work on Sundays.

Hodge Podge and Misc.

2010-06-04T00:16:00.003-04:00

I have a huge homework assignment due this week, but I have been putting it off. I really need to start it soon, as it will be impossible to complete the night before. Very long and mind numbing.

I am going shopping with a friend, and I'm excited about it. It will be so good to get out and chat. And shop. :-)

I was somewhat distressed this morning when I realized that I had miscalculated the days of the RBMS pre-conference. I thought the last day was Thursday, but it's actually Friday. But, my hotel, plane ticket, and work are already set, so I will just have to leave early. Thank goodness I have a later flight coming back on Thursday. Also, I don't think I will miss much. Mainly some extra networking.

I am hooked on the 44 Scotland Street series by Alexander McCall Smith. I had heard that he was a good author, and he has proved it to me. I just finished 44 Scotland Street, the first book in the series, and it was very good. The book is character driven, and the characters are so real. And human. It's a good author who gets you to make verbal exclamations at the characters. Bruce and Irene really get on my nerves, but you can't hate them. Though I do hate how over-bearing Irene is. Poor Bertie. I have to get my hands on the next books in the series. This does not bode well for homework.

I also watched a Korean movie last night. I enjoyed it, and I think I'm going to check out more of the movies/TV series in the Asian section of the library. The movie was called My Little Bride, and it had a really weird beginning premise, but after you got past that, it was really cute and sweet. I also wonder if Asian films do not allow on-screen kissing. I know very little about Asian culture and film, but there was no on screen kiss. At one point, the actors' lips were as close as possible without actually touching, but the "kiss" was obscured and thus only implied. It could just be this particular movie, and not the film industry as a whole, but I found it cute and kind of refreshing. There was inuendo, but the film had a more innocent, different feel than an American film.

Busy, Busy

2010-05-27T12:57:00.003-04:00

I may be crazy, but I will be working another job this summer, along with my internship and internship job. My old job in circulation at the public library needs extra help this summer, so I agreed to work as a page just for the summer. I'm glad to be working with my circulation co-workers again, and the extra income will be helpful. Also, I'll just be a page, so I'll have less hours and less responsibility, which will be much more compatible with my reference intern position. I had been thinking about trying to find another job this summer, and I'm glad that this opportunity came along. I will be very busy, but busy is not always bad. It will keep me out of trouble. :-)

I am enjoying my reference intern position. I realized that I really like helping people. There is a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in being able to answer someone's question or help them find the resources they are looking for. I like feeling useful.

I also have a fairly full social calendar this weekend. Tonight is a potluck with the 20-somethings from church, and Saturday is Angy's birthday. We're hosting a party, which should be a blast. I do, however, need to help clean the apartment, as well as make sticky bun for tonight. I think I might make cream cheese roll-ups for Saturday. That's a good party finger food.

Playing in the Mud

2010-05-18T21:41:00.002-04:00

There was a bonfire/cookout/potluck/party put on by the archives group on Friday, and I went for a few hours. I wasn't really in a party mood, but the food was good. I should have had a 2nd hot dog. Hebrew National hot dogs are packaged in 7s. :-) One of the guys came with his wife and 3 year old. So cute and so much fun. We've had a good amount of rain here, and there was a mud puddle/small rut in the yard. They let him play in the mud, and it didn't take much wheedling and soon my shoes and socks were off too. I cannot remember the last time I played in the mud. It was so much fun. Feeling the mud squish between your toes. That was the highlight of the party for me. :-)

Also, I went to the 8 AM service on Sunday, as I had to leave early for tech training for my new job. Sunday morning was the only time we could all meet. I really enjoyed singing the hymns, though my voice is not the best that early. During worship, however, there was a medical emergency. A man (elderly, I'm assuming) fell down or passed out, and we're singing Peace Like a River and watching as everyone rushes to his aid. I have decided that if I have a medical emergency in public, I'd like to have it happen in church. That way, you have an entire room of people praying for you.

My new job and internship are going well. The internship is not too exciting yet, but I am doing useful work. I am really enjoying working at the reference desk for my new job, though. I still have a lot to learn, and I know I'll make mistakes and have some bad days, but I really enjoy answering questions and helping people. I shadowed in AV yesterday and took my first phone call. It went well and I was able to help the patron. It is such a satisfying feeling. I have my first official shift tomorrow night. It's at the main desk, which worries me a bit, as you can get any and every question up there, and I really don't know that much. But, I'm working with two really good librarians, so I'm sure it will be fine. Everyone has been really nice and helpful. Though I would appreciate prayers if you think about it.

TTFN

Watching Worms

2010-05-12T16:19:00.002-04:00

The Dalai Lama was on campus today. There was a long line of people when I went to my internship today, and I wondered why they were there. I also wondered when the security person asked everyone to empty their stuff and be ready when they reached the front, but it makes sense. It was really cool seeing all the monks around. I think their red robes are very pretty.

In the movie Grumpier Old Men, there is a scene where Walter Matthau's character is trying to woo Sophia Loren's character, and he tells her that her restaurant is on a really good nightcrawler bed or area. He says that the worms come out at night, so they go out looking for worms. The worm in the scene is really fake, so I figured that they just made that up. After last night, however, I think there may be some truth to the idea that worms come out at night. I was sitting on a bench outside the laundry room, just being, and I noticed long, glisteny things moving. There were a lot of worms out, and they were moving the whirly seed pods that were on the ground. It was pretty cool watching them move and hearing them rustle. So many times we miss that. Everyone is so busy, so plugged in. We never just sit, just be. And that is important. Sit down. Listen to the worms.

Music

2010-05-05T09:42:00.003-04:00

I used to be very biased against contemporary Christian music, and was very skeptical of taking the "world's" music and putting Christian lyrics to it. In college, however, I started to listen to some contemporary Christian music. Some of it is ok, but it's not generally very hard hitting or convicting, though Casting Crowns has some really good songs. I have been hearing about Christian rap/hip hop recently, and decided to pick up a CD at the library by Lecrae. It's a hip hop/rap album, but it is so good! Whether you like that type of music or not, I have not heard such hard hitting lyrics or such a clear Gospel message from contemporary music before. Because hip hop/rap is a more edgy, hard hitting music style, the lyrics really combine with the music to form some very powerful stuff. I want to see him in concert now.

P.S. The album I borrowed is Rebel. It's his more recent album, I think.

Eliot Lied: There is not enough time

2010-04-30T14:45:00.003-04:00

I am having great difficulties in starting my enormous mound of work. When you have so much to do, the hardest part is usually getting started. I have to start though.

I think that I am now safe in making my announcement: I will be starting a new job in the next week and a half. I will still be at my current place of hire, but I will be working in the adult services department instead of the circulation department. I will be a "reference intern," so I will gain more reference experience and mostly work at the reference desk. I will miss some aspects of my current job, but I am getting excited about my new job. I will have opportunities to learn a lot and work on extra projects, which is exciting. I am also looking forward to working fewer hours. I am very grateful for my current job, but 25 hours a week is a lot.

I am really looking forward to the summer. I just want to be done with this semester. I have hit burnout, but I need to push through to the end. There will be a lot of changes this summer, but they will be good changes (I hope), and I am excited for the possibilities this summer holds. I will be starting my internship (for credit) with the puzzle collection and my new position at the library, as well as taking a 6 week long workshop on Electronic Archival Description for the first session of summer school. I also plan on working on my paper that I wrote for rare book librarianship on how objects fit into libraries. I received a good grad on it, but I really want to get it published, and I know it is not good enough yet. There are also other things I'd like to do, and what I really need to do is to just sit down sometime when I have a space of down time and plan out what I want to accomplish this summer. I am very bad at planning, and if I don't set goals for myself, I am in grave danger of wasting the summer. Or at least not accomplishing everything I would like to accomplish.

It won't be all work though. :-) I am going to the RBMS pre-conference, which won't be a vacation, but it will be fun to meet new people and see the city of Philadelphia. I am also going on a whitewater rafting trip in West Virginia with my church group the weekend of my birthday, and then meeting with my college friends for a reunion in July!

With so much planned for the summer, I am having a difficult time focusing on the present. And, as a dear friend says, "The best way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans." I know that things can change, and they may not turn out as I envision them to, but I am looking forward, with hope, to the summer, and I pray that I will have the strength and diligence to accomplish my goals. (Topic for another day: how it is so easy to focus on temporal goals while excluding spiritual ones.)

I should stop procrastinating. Maybe I'll reward myself with video games with the neighbors tonight. :-)

Abba Father

2010-04-26T17:01:00.003-04:00

As Christians, we often say that we have a relationship with God. The phrase "It's a relationship, not a religion" is rather popular, and most Christians would say that we can have a more intimate, relational connection with God. It is very easy to toss around this term, "relationship," but our actions do not indicate that we have a relationship with Him. We often admit that we need to "spend more time with God," but what does that look like? I have been thinking about these things recently, and I have started to view my spiritual life differently, and I am going to try some new things.

The Bible often refers to us as the Bride of Christ, and when nuns take orders, they are "wedded" to Christ. In regards to my own spiritual life, I have realized that if I had a boyfriend, I would be thinking about him all the time and going out with him, spending time with him. It is very easy, with God, however, so say a short prayer, read an obligatory Bible chapter or verse, and go on my way. It is not sufficient. So, I'm trying to rework my thinking and think of my time with God as "dates." Time set aside where I go walking or stay inside, etc. but it is time with God. And I've found that using this "mental model" or this idea helps me to visualize my time with God. Because I cannot see Him, it is hard sometimes to differentiate my time with Him. And, I know that He is always there and always with me, but it is good to have time that I devote specifically to Him. I am not condoning anthropomorphizing God or debasing Him in any manner, but in approaching my "relationship" with Him, it really does help to put it in terms that I can relate to.

Welcome to Little 5

2010-04-23T15:29:00.003-04:00

Little 500 (also called Little 5) is a bike race on campus that was immortalized in the movie Breaking Away. (Which is a good movie, btw.) There is a women's race today and a men's race tomorrow, and though it is ostensibly a weekend focusing on the races, it is actually an excuse for drunken debauchery, especially for the undergrads, which started earlier this week. I am trying to avoid downtown, except for work, and I already have 2 stories, witnessed a misdemeanor, and passed parties and drunk people. This is actually my 2nd Little 5 weekend, as I came apartment hunting last year, though I was able to escape the mayhem. I was, however, warned about it last year, so I was fairly prepared this year. My plan involves avoiding it as much as possible, which is not too hard, as I don't live in a party area.

I have 1 week of classes left and then finals. I actually have finals this semester. :-( They are all take homes/papers, and they are all due at about the same time, so I really need to start at least one of them this weekend. These 1st 2 semesters have gone by rather quickly. It's hard for me to realize that I am almost done with my 1st year of grad school, though I have a busy summer ahead of me. Instead of New Year's resolutions, I am making summer resolutions. There is a lot I want to accomplish this summer, and I need to start planning and making sure that I actually accomplish certain things. I am not very good at planning things. I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants, but that isn't always very effective. So, we'll see how it goes.

Blessings

O Glorious Weekend

2010-04-18T15:48:00.003-04:00

The title about says it all. I have had a wonderful, social, relaxing, fun, refreshing weekend. *contented sigh* The fiesta on Friday was a lot of fun. I am not in the dale any more, and for once that is a good thing. :-) There was a live band, so it was loud, but the music was so infectious. It just made you want to move and want to really get into the dance. I also had a good amount of dances, and even learned a new style, which was a lot of fun, while using my very rusty cha cha skills as well. I'm hoping to continue with salsa over the summer. It's been a lot of fun, and it would be a good opportunity to stay social and to get out and DANCE! :-)

Yesterday was a bit more low key. I went to a birthday get together and was able to see people from small group that I haven't seen in a long time, as I have to work during Bible study this semester. Then, we played Mario Kart with the neighbor boys. Lots of fun, though Angy said my driving was making her a bit carsick and she couldn't watch my screen any more. :-) I lamented one time that I was so far behind, and one of the guys said, "Yeah, but you've covered more territory." Ha, yeah... :-)

Then, I went out to lunch with people from the 20 somethings group today. That was good too, though I'm not super close with anyone from that group yet. It's nice to hang out, but I'm not close friends yet. And may never be, but that's ok.

I hope everything is going well with you all as well. I have 3 take home finals on the horizon, but for now, I am enjoying the moment. :-)

Blessings

Another scintillating post about my academic endeavors

2010-04-13T07:17:00.003-04:00

Research paper finished: check. I'm feeling ok about the paper. It's really different for me, as I'm used to history papers and using a ton of written sources. I do have a decent amount of sources, but I only used 3 articles. The other was personal knowledge and personal contacts. Hopefully I didn't plagiarize, but a lot of it seems like common knowledge and my own know-how.

Now, I just have a rather evil paper left, due Thursday, currently not started. But, I have fun things to look forward to this weekend. Salsa fiesta and video games with neighbors. Just have to get there.

Things are starting to fall into place. I'm starting to hear back from places and things that I applied for. I still haven't heard in regards to some major things, but I know that it will all work out. I just have to keep going.

I'm not especially tired, but I'm going to try to catch an extra hour of sleep before I officially start my day.

The Fight Will Be Where the Line is Drawn

2010-04-08T23:52:00.002-04:00

I think my "cold" is actually allergies, and it doesn't seem to be going away. :-/ It's a pain, but I keep going. I went to mid-week salsa practice, as I missed on Monday. It was fun to be able to just dance, and I really enjoyed not having any "holes" in the circle. On Mondays there are always more girls than guys, and it's a pain, especially when we do moves with the whole circle that require a lead. Oh well. There is a fiesta next Friday, and I'm excited for it. We'll see how that goes. I just have to get through this week. I'm woefully behind, but I do not have the undergrad panic that I had at the dale, which is nice. Though it might be helpful as a kick in the pants to get cracking. :-)

I have finally found my study spot. It's in gov. docs. There is a reading room for materials from the outside storage building, and there is an old, wooden rolly chair that I sit in while I study. I'm glad that I found my area, as it's hard for me to study, especially research, just anywhere.

I found this quote in an article I looked at for my paper. The article is not helpful, but I like this quote: "The first thing you notice as the door is unlocked is the most wonderful smell--that intoxicating, exhilarating, overwhelming and irresistibly exciting smell of old dust and book leather. If I ever invented a women's fragrance, I would call it Old Books." "Tangible Artifacts," by Christopher de Hamel. :-)

I have so much to do this weekend and very little gumption to do it. I have been tired and having to look after my health (in more ways than one,) which has put me behind as well. Oh well, it will all get done. I feel that this is a theme with me, unfortunately. Always behind. But, one must keep on keeping on.

Blessings

Blessed Easter Weekend

2010-04-02T16:59:00.003-04:00

Posting these pictures is becoming an Easter tradition for me. This is located near one of my friend's house. It is a beautiful retreat to visualize the life of Jesus, and there is a small chapel on the premise as well. Wonderful memories, and the pictures are perfect for this season.

Happy Jazz and Poetry Month

2010-04-02T00:23:00.003-04:00

April is the cruelest month. I am getting sick, and I should be in bed. But, I am not. I will be soon.

I was looking at pictures someone posted from the dale. I became nostalgic. They are currently at the dale, and I did not really know the girl who posted them, but they are so typically H-dale and remind me of the good times and friends. And I miss it. It really is the people. But, when I think like this, I have to remind myself that things were not perfect. Senior year was especially hard. I have guy friends again. And I still have my awesome girl friends. And I'm rather social and learning things. God is good.

I am officially going to RBMS in June. I registered. So, even if I do not get a scholarship, I'm going to do my best to go. Now I need to look into tickets. I signed up for a workshop the day before it really gets going, so I will probably need to be there before other people who are going and may not be able to catch a ride. Flying is a lot more expensive, but it is easier and faster. Flying still makes me nervous, but I survived before; I should be able to do it again. But, who knows. Maybe I'll find someone to ride with. Hopefully I can find someone to share lodging with. I will probably end up in the dorms, as they are cheaper, but I'm used to dorms. I lived in a freshman dorm for 4 years. :-)

Remember Holy Week.

A Weekend of Culture

2010-03-27T16:52:00.003-04:00

It's been a full and stressful week, but the weekend is going wonderfully. Though I'm not getting any school work done, which is not good. I need to get my RBMS scholarship in and also fill out another application. I then need to do my homework for representation and organization and work on my research paper. I now have my own carrel in the library, which is exciting, though I'm not too fond of studying in a place without windows. I can check books out to my carrel, so if I have a lot of books, I won't have to lug them around, which is why I checked out the carrel in the first place. :-)

I went to a poetry night with a friend last night and then she and I hung out at a coffee shop and talked. It was a fun evening, and it was good to go to a poetry reading again. I haven't done that since undergrad. There were several different people who read, and it was all good, but I especially liked the last lady. Her poems were more like stories, and the first one was hilarious! I'm going to see Into the Woods tonight with the same friend and two other people, which should be fun. I haven't seen the whole play before, only some of the 2nd half. A weekend of culture: just what I need right now. :-)

I'm hoping I can go to my grandparents' house for Easter, but I'm not sure if I will be able to make it. It's a long drive, and I'm afraid that even if I vow to work over the weekend, there is no way it will happen. We'll have to see how much progress I make this week.

Happy Bibliomania Day

2010-03-20T17:51:00.002-04:00

I found out, through the rare books listserv that today is the anniversary of the apprehension of Stephen Blumberg, one of the most famous book thieves. It is now (unofficially) dubbed Bibliomania Day.

Priorities

2010-03-19T21:38:00.002-04:00

Well. I missed the bus and am currently stuck on campus for another hour. It came 7 minutes early. I had a tip from the bus driver as I rode in that I should get there about 5 minutes early, as the night driver is notoriously early. I thought I had given myself enough time, but as I headed toward the stop, I heard bus brakes. I ran down the steps and saw it pulling away. I was running and yelling "Wait, noooo," and there was one guy at the the stop to witness my plight/theatrics. Sigh. Oh well.

I've been trying to gather research for my paper due next month. I'm writing it on the use of objects/artifacts in special collections. I think it will be really interesting, but I'm having some trouble finding sources. Also, I've never written a paper like this before. I'm used to getting a ton of books, finding primary sources, a few articles, and amassing a huge stack of notecards with quotes and summaries. This, however, is not a history paper. It's mainly going to be all articles, as I don't think there are many books on the subject, and any primary sources will probably be from interviews. I really need to talk with my prof and the librarians at the special collections library to get some better direction.

This weather has been absolutely intoxicating, and I heard it's supposed to snow on Sunday! I hope not. They have planted pansies all around campus already, and I don't want the flowers, buds, and shoots to die. I'm ready for spring.

I do not particularly like working over spring break, and I'm starting to slightly freak out about stuff I need to do. I'm never as productive as I plan to be over break. I did have a good weekend with my family though. I also had a good time catching up with a friend. It was so nice to just hang out in a coffee shop and talk.

So many things to do. I really dislike being overwhelmed. Last year was so nice in that I didn't have to worry about as many things. I didn't have papers hanging over my head (other than grad school apps), and though I had the stress of figuring out what I was going to do for grad school and such, it was rather less complicated. I did watch way too much TV though. :-) I really miss people from the dale. I've been missing my church again, and I miss the community theater and the college. Last year was hard, but it was also good.

Oh, last thought. I found out what happens if you leave butter on top of the stove and the oven is on. It melts. No more butter. I should probably run to the store when I get home. :-(

Standing Under a Waterfall of Possibilities and Getting Drenched

2010-03-11T16:07:00.004-05:00

There are so many things that I need to do/deadlines coming up. Things are starting to fall into place and I'm starting to make decisions, but I am still feeling overwhelmed. I don't like all the uncertainty. At least I now know that I'm going to stay in the area this summer. I got the internship I wanted! And, contrary to what I've been saying, I'm going to do the sane thing and take it for credit. I also plan on taking the EAD workshop, but it's only 1.5 credits, and with the internship, workshop, and work, I'll be plenty busy. I have also decided that I really want to go to the RBMS preconference this summer in Philadelphia. RBMS is the rare books section of ALA. Hopefully I can get a scholarship to go, but I'm going to try to go anyway. I don't think I'm going to go to the main ALA conference. I am also applying for a scholarship to go to another conference which is in San Francisco, but that one will be determined by whether or not I get the scholarship. Now, I just have papers and scholarship deadlines coming due soon. I have changed my rare books paper topic to something that I am pretty passionate about right now, so that is good. I would ultimately like to have it published, but it remains to be seen if it will be any good or worth publishing.

Sorry, I know the above paragraph is full of library jargon. But, that's pretty all consuming right now. There are so many decisions that I have to make. I'm trying not to worry and to trust that the Lord will open and close doors as He sees fit. I'm also slightly worried about the career path I have chosen to pursue. I want to work with special collections, specifically with objects or "realia," so I'm pursuing that. I'm not sure if there is any hope or possibilities for me in this path, but I need to focus on and pursue something, so I am pursuing this, and I hope that if it is not what the Lord has for me, He shows me and directs me toward what He wants. I kind of feel that this is His will though, as it is the path that He led me to, away from my original desire to be a school media specialist.

School is getting better, now that I have a purpose. It really helps to have something to work toward.

I cannot wait for spring break, but I have a lot to do during it, including a deadline tomorrow, and 2 deadlines for Monday. Then another next Friday. Augh! Oh well. It will get done. It always does.

Also, I saw some guys outside today with a "free hugs" sign. Though I like the concept of this movement, and appreciate hugs myself, I did not take advantage of it, as the concept of hugging complete strangers is rather intimidating.

Connections

2010-03-06T18:44:00.002-05:00

I am officially a part of the community. While waiting to check out at Kroger I saw my computer professor from last semester, a coworker, two girls from Sunday school, and another lady from work. All at basically the same time. I am officially connected.

I also found out what happens if you forget to put baking soda in your cookies. They don't expand. They still taste ok, but I'm not going to bring them to girls night. Speaking of which, I need to head out to that.

Blessings.

Answer to Prayer

2010-03-05T22:59:00.002-05:00

I have a roommate for next year! One of the girls I met in Bible study and is also in my program was also looking for a roommate. I think we will get along well. I was a little worried, but I knew that the Lord would provide, and He did. I'm so glad that I didn't have to send out an e-mail to the listserv or post a classified ad.

I am also apparently a mold magnet. It is a blessing and a curse.

There is a lot going on this weekend. I don't know when I'll have time for homework. Guess I'll have to make time, as I have an assignment due Monday. There is a small archives conference on campus tomorrow (Saturday). I'm looking forward to it. Then, Bible study is having a girls night, which I'm also looking forward to, and I need to bake cookies for. (Which also means I need to buy butter.) Then, I have to work on Sunday due to a meeting, and then I'm going to an Oscar's party with my friend of the same name. Busy busy. At least this proves that I have a social life. :-) I met one of the girls from out of town who is coming to the conference, and she seems really nice. We had a pre-conference get together, and they came late due to the time change and long drive up, but I'm looking forward to seeing her again tomorrow. I hate to say networking, as it can often have a negative, self-serving connotation, but I'm hoping to network in a good way. Meet new people.

I watched Quigley Down Under last night. It is a very good western, one of my top rated. :-) I realized as I watched it that it is one of the few westerns that actually focuses on the female. They actually developed the female character, and she is one of the reasons that you watch the movie. And the love story part is different from the other movies. Crazy Cora has to come to grips with her past before she can be with Quigley, and he in turn needs her, as he is a loner. Augh, it's hard to describe, but it's very good. My favorite Western coupling, however, is, by far, John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. They are wonderful together. (Quigley Down Under is a Tom Selleck movie, btw)

Any whoo, I'm tired. Night.

I Am Weary, Let Me Rest

2010-03-04T16:21:00.002-05:00

It's Thursday again. Which means I have to go to boring class. And I am tired. I hope I can get through it. I think coffee before class is a good idea. Coffee definitely tastes like the elixir of life sometimes.

I am a bit burned out right now. I had two midterms due this week, one on Tuesday and the other on Wednesday, and I have not had much sleep the past few nights. I also have a lot going on this weekend, and I have several things I need to apply for, like scholarships and a grad assistantship. I also need to decide about a conference soon, as the early bird registration ends tomorrow. I may or may not have an internship for this summer lined up. I contacted a staff member to see if she wanted an intern to help with the special collection she curates, but I haven't heard back from her. I hope I got the e-mail address right.

There is a small archives conference on campus this Saturday, which I am going to attend. It shoudl be a good way to network and meet people, as some people are coming from out of town to attend and present.

I need to get ready for class. TTFN

Who He Is, Not Who I Think He Is

2010-02-25T06:48:00.003-05:00

"In this way we're a lot like the people walking past the windows of the coffee shop. Instead of looking through the window of God's self-revelation and seeing him, we find it easier to admire our own reflection or to place on him the constraints of our own existence. We judge him by our standards of justice, fairness, power, and mercy. We even measure his greatness by our own ideals of greatness." Josh Harris, excerpt from his book Dug Down Deep (I think), posted on Boundless

This paragraph is very true. I've been aware of this concept after re-reading the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis last year. In that book, Screwtape advises Wormwood to get his person to focus not on who God is, but who he thinks God is. His own image of God, which turns into a form of idolatry. It is so easy, with our earthly constraints, to place limits upon God or to think that He thinks and feels similar to how we do. I often want God to be like me, and that is a travesty. I am flawed, limited, wimpy. Instead, I want to focus on who God is. To know Him better. As often happens with prayer, I may get more than I bargained for, but that is probably a good thing.

2010-02-24T21:58:00.003-05:00

A quick post before I finish my paper that is due tomorrow. I only have about 2 pages left, so it shouldn't be too bad, but it is such a fluffy, dull paper. It's supposed to be 8 pages, but the prompt does not support the length. So, I am being verbose.

I had tea today that tastes like rendezvousing (mountain man reenacting) with my grandpa. It tastes like woodsmoke, and a log cabin heated by a fireplace.

My Yorkshire pudding turned out well, though it was slightly over done. The meat in the middle gets a little dry, so I doused the leftovers with worcestershire sauce. Mmm. Good English food. Sticks to your ribs.

I'm such a fan girl. I was up early this morning and was one of the first commenters on the Stuff Christians Like post today. And...Jon Acuff commented on my comment! Oh happy day!

Yorkshire Pudding

2010-02-22T13:45:00.003-05:00

I am making Yorkshire pudding right now, and it smells so good! It's relatively simple to make, but it hasn't finished cooking yet. I hope it turns out. It's so fun to watch it rise and poof. :-)

I have a lot to accomplish in the next few days/week. And, I really blew off the weekend homework-wise, which was not good in regards to school work, but kind of good for my well being.

I hope to get a lot accomplished this afternoon and evening before salsa dancing tonight. Salsa is so much fun and quite the work out. Also, last week was much more even with girl to guy ratio, which was nice.

On Friday, Angy and I went over to a couple's apartment and hung out with friends and watched Firefly and the Olympics. I am now addicted to Firefly. It's pretty brilliant. We are going to get together every other week and watch it, but I don't want to have to wait that long! :-)

I am also really looking forward to game night this Friday with the 20-somethings Sunday school. Sunday school feels like it is starting to mesh and come together more. We are starting to be more comfortable and familiar with each other, and I'm hoping to get to know people better on Friday. I think they've planned Bunco and icebreaker games. :-)

I need to go. Get things accomplished.

Primal Scream

2010-02-18T19:33:00.002-05:00

That's what I want to do right now. I just got out of my night archives class that is so boring! And, with all the little big things I need to think about and figure out, I just need to get it all out of my system. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that emitting a primal scream, though liberating for me, would be most socially unacceptable. So, I blog.

There were things to say, but I cannot think of them. Maybe later.

Winter

2010-02-14T17:36:00.003-05:00

I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed and apathetic, which is not a good combination. There are so many things that I need to do, taxes, apply for scholarships, think about going to conferences, career days, library group meetings, and the regular classes, homework, work, and volunteering. I also don't want to do most of it. I also need to set up an appointment for new glasses, as my current lenses are cracking. So goes life.

It's funny how the seasons affect one. I like winter, but it wears on me.

I really should do homework, but I really don't want to. I also need to set up an appointment to get help with my taxes. Bleagh.

I did have a good time last night as well as Friday. Last night I visited my friend of the same name and we watched episodes of the Love Boat. Oh 70s cheese TV, how you amuse me. :-) We had a good time laughing at it. One thing I didn't realize about that show though is all the guest stars. They had many of the big names of the era on that show. Jim Nabors, Suzanne Somers, the Jeffersons, Scott Baio (Chachi), John Ritter, Jaclyn Smith, and others. Good times. :-)

Friday one of my friends invited me to a party with other people in the program, and Angy and I tagged along, so I guess we didn't technically crash the party. :-) It was fun, though I didn't know many of the people there. I did see a few people that I don't normally see around, so that was fun.

Life is going well, but it is generally characterized by the winter blahs. I'm looking forward to spring.

Jumbalaya on the Bayou

2010-02-08T12:58:00.002-05:00

I had a very good day yesterday, despite having to work. I forced myself to go to the 8 AM service, and then hung out before Sunday school. I had to leave when it started, but I had a 1/2 hour to kill and wanted to talk with people before I left. Ironically, seeing as it was the biggest day for football of the year, I was able to steer the conversation toward the Cubs and baseball, which I am much more knowledgeable about. :-) I'm afraid that most sport conversations devolve that way with me.

I went to a Super Bowl party yesterday evening with people from small group, and it was so much fun. None of us really cared about the game, as our teams weren't playing, so we all rooted for the Saints. I was also pretty impressed with some of the commercials. I love the Betty White commercial! Did you notice Fish (Abe Vigoda) at the end? Amazing! Anyway, it was just a fun, chill time with everyone. And I do mean chill; they keep their house very cold, but I was dressed warm and we borrowed blankets. :-)

I am meeting with one of my professors in 25 minutes to discuss a topic for my research paper. It's for rare books, and I think I want to write about issues that small institutions/colleges have in dealing with their rare books and "cool old stuff." I also have salsa dancing tonight, and tomorrow, one of the student groups is volunteering with Pages for Prisoners, so I think I may do that as well. I've been wanting to do that for awhile, and I have the time tomorrow. So, why not?

You Were Weighed in the Balance and Found Wanting

2010-02-05T00:01:00.003-05:00

from the book of Daniel

What Christian book would you suggest I read? Preferably non-fiction. I would like a book that is strong and encouraging in the Christian walk, and something that I could read a bit before bed when I read my Bible. Something thought provoking but accessible. Or, what Christian author would you suggest in general? I'd really appreciate your input.

I do not have work tomorrow, so I can sleep in! It means that I have to work on Sunday, but I am going to enjoy my day off. :-) I also plan on going to hear a band with some friends tomorrow, which is exciting.

Classes are done for the week. I got out of ERM early, as the prof wanted to go to the basketball game. We had to kind of rush our presentation though, as the first presentation took over an hour, as the prof interjected and made comments, and the group had a ton of info in their power point. I should probably try to do work tomorrow, but I don't have hopes for that happening. :-)

Update: I did try to talk and break the ice during rare books. Not the best results, but it was ok. It's frustrating that people weren't really willing to try and keep a conversation going. It just feels dull and boring there, when it shouldn't be. Everyone is content to keep to themselves and not interact. Maybe because there aren't any pairs or groups of friends in the class. That always makes a difference.

I would also appreciate prayer as I attempt to meet new people and be friendly. There is always a balance, and I would like to be careful and in that balance.

Coffee and Panera Bagels

2010-01-31T14:34:00.004-05:00

--Two minor reasons why Sunday school is great. :-)

The sun is out and the sky is cloudless! It's been a tough week, but I am feeling better on many levels. My weird cold is pretty much over (I hope). I have been taking it easy though, which has been nice.

I really enjoyed worship this morning. The songs were really good, and I just felt joyful. I also like the people in Sunday school, and I hope that it goes well. It just started, but I think it has good community/fellowship potential. I'm not happy about next week though. I have to miss Sunday school because of a meeting at work, and next Sunday I think they're finally going to do introductions and "get to know you" talk, which I really want to be there for. But, I can't. However, the church is going to have a Super Bowl party at the coffee house it sponsors, so I plan on going to that and hopefully see people from Sunday school or meet new people.

I know I have often lamented the lack of community I feel here, and I want to change it, but I'm not quite sure how. I don't feel like God has given me any clear alternative to the church where I'm at, so I'm going to stay. I just feel that it is more focused on doing rather than being. They emphasize tithing and being active in the church, but without really emphasizing the need for unity. The church is the body of Christ, and we comprise different parts of that body. However, for the body to be effective, the different parts need to be familiar with each other and know how to work together. I guess it's just a different emphasis and mindset. I've been in churches that focus on community to the detriment of outreach, which is not good either. I think it will help a lot now that I have a smaller group to be with.

Also, I'd like to get to know more people interested in rare books. Before class, however, everyone is dead. Silence. Nothing. It's frustrating, and I don't really know how to break the silence. I'm really considering just diving in, introducing myself, and asking for names. It's a small class and I don't know 1/2 my classmates names. We'll see. Maybe I'll chicken out.

It is beautiful today, and I do not feel like doing my homework. But, I should read my difficult and dense representation and organization homework. That stuff is a mental workout, but it's good to exercise the gray matter.

I'm Going to Get Consumption and Die

2010-01-26T18:20:00.002-05:00

Seeing as I am not a character in a Victorian novel (as far as I know), the title is most likely false. It is, however, how I felt earlier today. I am such a wimp when I get sick, and coupled with the absolutely frigid temperatures, I was feeling somewhat miserable. I did not go to work today, as I'm trying to lay low and recuperate so that I can work tomorrow night and Thursday morning, as well as make it through my night class on Thurs. It is only the 3rd week and we already have a 30 minute group presentation due. Not cool. The class is very dry, but apparently there is some hope, as my group members and I were getting a little geeked, which I did not think at all possible.

Not much new or exciting going on right now. I went to the new "20 somethings" Sunday school class at church on Sunday. I think it will be good; hopefully we can have some good times of fellowship and get togethers sometime. It's led by one of the elders, which is a little odd, as I am used to peer leadership, and he is the only one who isn't in his 20s. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. It feels a little odd/awkward, but we'll see. We're also following a study book based on one of David's mighty men, Benaiah. I'm not generally a fan of books like this, but I think it's an interesting premise, and I do like David's mighty men. Though I do think that it must have been a slap in the face to have gone through a ton of peril to get David some water only to have him feel guilty and pour it out because he was the cause of their risk. (1 Chronicles 11 and 2 Samuel ?) I think it would be cool to have three boys and name them after David's three chief mighty men. The mightiest of whom was named...Abishai.

Last Friday was fun. The Lilly had an open house, and I went with a few friends. I had seen the exhibit before, but it was good to go, talk with people, eat good food, and hear the director speak. Then, we went to a "Meet and Greet" with ALA, but it was more of a "talk with people you used to have class with but never see any more." From experience, it's rather awkward to go to those things when you don't know anyone. After that, Angy, I, and another friend went to a coffee shop and hung out for awhile. It was a fun, relaxing evening. Very nerdily library.

Where is Home? My Heart is in More Than One Place.

2010-01-18T22:27:00.002-05:00

I had a wonderful weekend. I left after work on Saturday to visit a friend up in Michigan, as well as see my old church and coworkers at the library. I miss everyone so much! It was so good to see the Hughes again. They are some of the most hospitable and kind people I know. It was so good to catch up with Miss Hughes too. I miss being able to hang out with her on a regular basis like we did last year. I really miss HFMC (church) too. Churches that are that alive and hard hitting are hard to find. I miss the sermons and the people. I have found myself thinking about the sermon, which was on worship, fairly often, which is really nice. The sermons at my current church don't really leave that much of an impression on me, but they're ok.

I also fell in love this weekend. His name is Spencer, and he is very cute, sweet, and rather acrobatic. We would like to move in together when my lease is up in August, but I'm not sure if it will work out. Oh, Spencer is a cat. He is adorable and he is currently living with the Hughes. He does not, however, play well with others. He does not get along with any of the other cats, so he has to be segregated. He is pretty good with people though, and he seems to like me and let me pet him. He would make a good "only cat."

I'm tired and need to get some sleep. I'm afraid that I'm coming down with a cold, but I'm hoping it's just slight allergies from being around the cats.

Why?

2010-01-15T00:00:00.003-05:00

"It's comforting to know that he will have something tangible to show for those years, but more profound is the realization that a dream can die — any dream can die — and you can stand in that barren place in the weedy garden of your own life, amongst the sagging, withered plants, in the company of your own naked soul, and if you study the ground, you might just spot some fresh green shoots pressing through. You know yourself better now. You can begin again."
"On the Death of Dreams" by Jenny Schroedel

This is a really profound paragraph. I linked to the article, and the author has some good points. Sometimes, it's best to move on, and you may wonder what the point was or why God allowed something that did not ultimately come to fruition, be that a job, career goal, relationship, etc., but even if you don't know why, it doesn't mean that there wasn't a reason or that God can't use it for good. God does not answer the question "why." It's the one word He hears the most, but He doesn't often answer. He may reveal a reason later, but He may not. All we can do is trust Him and do the best with what He has revealed.