Snow Day

I had a snow day from work today. It's nice to work at a job that closes due to snow, though tomorrow is going to be pretty crazy. Just because the library is closed does not mean that people stop returning books. Though maybe the weather kept people home and it won't be that bad.

I was going to be productive today, but that did not happen, especially as I slept in until 1. Sigh, I have hijacked my sleep schedule, and it is not good. I am looking forward to classes and work as it will provide me with a regular schedule and hopefully help me get into better, healthier habits. Going to bed late and sleeping in late is not good, and I can feel its effects on me too. Classes start next week though. I read the syllabus for one of my classes, and it looks like it's going to be pretty intense, which I'm looking forward to. I need classes that expect a lot from me. I need a reason to care. If the prof doesn't seem to take the class seriously or expect much from the students, why should we put in the effort? This is where an internal locus of control comes in, I think.

I went home this past weekend because I could and to celebrate my brother's birthday, and I got my parents hooked on The Big Bang Theory. It makes me happy. And it is a very good show. My brother seemed to enjoy it to, which was cool. Saturday night was basically a marathon of it. I showed them the better episodes of season 2, as they now own season 1.

I am also enjoying Regency House Party, which is a PBS reality show that I got from the library about people living and wooing according to the rules and standards of the Regency period. It is very interesting, and it is helping me understand the period, and thus Jane Austen's novels better.

Night.

I Will Lift My Eyes Unto the Hills, From Whence Comes My Help--Psalm 121

Where does the balance come between trying hard and trusting God? Sometimes I think "I'm trying really hard," like I need to prove to God that I'm tackling my issues and doing my part. But this leads to frustration because I can't do it. No matter how hard I try, I will still fail. I will still struggle with certain issues, and I don't want to. Identifying the issue and trying to resolve it should be enough. I should be able to conquer. But not always. Sometimes its a constant battle. Sometimes life is a fight. And I can't do it alone, even though I want to. I want to be able to take care of my own problems without bothering God with them. He doesn't need to get involved, I can take care of this. But, I can't. And that's ok, because I think God wants us to call out to Him. We have things in our lives that we can't handle so that it causes us to think of Him and ask for His help. He won't always answer the way we want Him to. He may not answer immediately, but it is the journey, the struggle that bonds us with Him. It's not pleasant, but it is good.

Sometimes you have to ignore your feelings, turn up the music, and clean the house.

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock

I have season 2! Happiness is sitting on the couch, watching Big Bang Theory Season 2 with a stomach full of amazing chili and Christmas cookies. Big Bang Theory is my favorite sitcom, and I now have seasons 1 and 2, and I am happy.

I had a very good Christmas, though we were not able to make it up to visit my grandparents, aunt and cousins. It was kind of weird being home for Christmas, as we always go up North, and I missed everyone. It was a good and relaxing holiday, however. We opened gifts in the morning (they let me sleep in :-) and Dad and I made chili in the afternoon. This chili is our special chili. No beans, about 13 lbs of meat, lots of spices, mole...so good. Mole as in the Mexican chocolate-like sauce, not the animal or unit of measurement. I now have a large skillet, a vegetable steamer, and a Best of Illinois cookbook. I already picked out some yummy sounding recipes. I'm excited to try chicken pecan quiche. And horseshoe sandwiches. Dad also gave me a book from 1877 of old ballads and songs, mainly from England. There is a good ballad/song on smoking and another as a warning to drunkards. :-) It also has the Robin Hood songs. I love old books.

I am starting to fade. A bad sleep schedule and stressful driving are combining, and I should turn in soon. Especially as I have to work in the morning.

Happy New Year!

The Eye of Sauron

There is a major intersection that I go through when I drive to work. One of the red lights is burned out in the middle, and every time I am stopped at that intersection, I feel like the eye of Sauron is watching me. It's slightly unnerving.

Also, on Sunday I had my first Stuff Christians Like moment. I really like the blog Stuff Christians Like, written by Jon Acuff. I have it on my blog feed/side bar, and you may want to check it out. Jon pokes fun at some things that Christians do, but as he is a Christian himself, it is more redeeming than skewering. His serious Wednesdays are also very good. They almost always hit me square between the eyes. Anyway, he wrote a post a while back about saving seats in church and how he found it largely unnecessary. Last Sunday, I decided to check out the fellowship hall service, which is smaller and has a different style of worship than the large services. (Though I didn't see much difference.) The pastor still gives the sermon, but it is a smaller group. So, I decided to check it out. I went by myself and was a bit late coming in. I was looking for a place to sit without being too conspicuous, and I saw two seats open on an end. I went to the seats, sat down, and the lady a seat over says, "I'm sorry, but these are saved." What? There was nothing on the seats to indicate that they were saved. The sermon had already started. I was new to the service (though she wouldn't know that), and I had to move because the seats were saved. It did not make me feel good or accepted, which is something that I've been struggling with this church anyway. Oh well. Rant over.

On Sunday, I also saw the movie Avatar. It is a good movie; visually stunning, even if the plot was predictable. The effects were amazing and it was a beautiful film. I did not like the mother earth, spirituality, New Age, all energy is connected stuff, but that is almost a given to be included in movies like this. Also, I really liked how the Nauvoo (native blue creatures) were composites of almost all primitive civilizations. I saw aspects of American Indians, Central and South American and African peoples, as well as some South Seas influences. Twas pretty cool.

Well, I have a lot to do still.

Merry Christmas!

Sweet Christmas Laughter

After several very late nights and finishing 3 big projects, I am done with my first semester of library school. I do not have any finals, which is wonderful. This is a very different experience from undergrad. I've never done schooling like this before, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. I am looking forward to next semester already. I am hoping to be able to keep up better with everything, do my projects ahead of time (i.e. not the night before), and become involved with other community activities. In short, I am hoping to become a better manager of my time, which has always been a struggle for me. It also does not help that my bad behavior (procrastination) is often rewarded with good grades. It just reinforces that I can get away with it. Though I know sometime I'm going to push it too far, and that will not be good. So, I am hoping to change before that happens. I guess this is an early New Year's resolution.

Also, a week ago from Friday, I went with my friend of the same name and I picked out my first Christmas tree. We went to a Christmas tree farm and picked out a live one. My friend had never picked out an uncut tree before, so it was a new experience for both of us. The guy let me cut it too. He offered to let me cut it completely by myself, but I let him start it, as I didn't want to look stupid if I couldn't get it started. (The first cuts are the hardest.) So I finished cutting it. It is a cute little Scotch pine: short and fat, just like I wanted. I had a few friends over for wassail, cookies, and tree decorating. The guys helped me get the tree more securely attached to the stand. It is a spike stand, so the tree is wedged on a spike. It's leaning a little, but I don't think it will fall. (Hopefully) It was so funny watching them trying to force the tree more securely in place. Also, Scotch pines are extremely spiky and prickly. One guy was impaled by a needle, and there was a good amount of teasing and complaining about the spikiness. But it is is a cute tree, so I don't care about the prickly part. :-) The tree's name was originally Addison, but that changed when we put the lights on. It then seemed like an Ambrose. This opened the door for a plethora of name suggestions. Like Ira. And Pierce. And Mahalel Hashbaz (sp?) (Courtesy Angy, of course :-) So, it doesn't really have a name, but I think it's Ambrose. :-)

My first tree makes me happy.

On Thursday we had our Bible study Christmas party. Another first for me, as it was my first White Elephant. So much fun! Oh my, I laughed so hard that night. It was good for the soul. Angy's gift was amazing. The recipient was not impressed, but several of us were laughing so hard we were crying. I don't want togive it away, so you'll have to bug her if you want to know. We also played a game of telephone pictionary, which is great fun.

I am looking forward to making Christmas cookies, sending Christmas cards, and catching up on my life. I think it will be a little hard when everyone leaves for break. I will be here as I have to work, but I don't mind. It gives me something to do. Even though I was busy and low on sleep since Thanksgiving, I don't have the same exhaustion/relieve that I had in undergrad. Maybe that's another reason why I procrastinate. I like the relief and sweet sleep when it is all over.

Question: What is your favorite Christmas carol? Mine is Oh Holy Night. Most definitely.

Blessings.

Burning the Midnight Oil

I just finished an all-nighter, and all I want to do is sleep. But I have to go to class. Then sleep. Then work on a database presentation with Angy for reference. Then go to work in the evening, as I'm training new pages. Training went well last night. Hopefully tonight goes as well. It should.

I am a fan of heavy flannel shirts. They are warm and cozy. Not necessarily flattering, but you can't have it all.